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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138101">A Gentle Blue Reminds Me of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StayInMyLane/pseuds/StayInMyLane'>StayInMyLane</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Hour Oneshots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art, Fluff and Crack, Journaling, Love, M/M, Mentions of Death, Romance, Slice of Life, Supernatural Elements, bc yeonjun is literally a ghost, choi yeonjun is a ghost, contemporary, ghost au, i use songs that inspire me as chapter titles, side taegyu, taehyun is the bestest friend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:42:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StayInMyLane/pseuds/StayInMyLane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why do you like the sunrise and sunset so much?" Soobin asked yeonjun.<br/>Yeonjun glanced at him, humming in thought.<br/>"It's not necessarily the sunrise and sunset I like so much, but rather the time before it," yeonjun answered him.<br/>This made soobin confused. He looked back at yeonjun, meeting his gaze. "What do you mean?"<br/>"The sunrise and sunset are pretty, but I like the several minutes before it the most. The time when everything is quiet and frozen in place. It's almost like the world holds it's breath, waiting for the day to break. It's at this time where everything is peaceful and calm, before the world let's that breath go, and our chaotic lives catch up to us."</p><p>Or in other words: a slice of life ghost au that has a happy ending.</p><p>[Complete]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Hour Oneshots [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Drive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer:<br/>This is in no way related to the real life counterparts of the characters. This is just for fun.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! I have never done a contemporary or slice of life styled fic with angst before, so I decided to give it a try. Happy Halloween everyone!<br/>Please stream txt's upcoming comeback "I discovered you and I in the sky of 5:53 (Blue Hour)" on October 26th!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> A sacrifice can be considered a beautiful act of love. It’s a momentary instinct and a choice.</em><br/><em>It’s not something we are able to predict. <br/></em> <em>Just a small decision, a rare second of selflessness, can change a person’s life in the blink of an eye. </em></p><p>
  <em>This was one of those unpredictable moments that end up being the most special, the type of sacrifice we will never regret no matter what the outcomes may be.  </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:50 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>Soobin sighed, glancing at the clock behind the counter. It was almost 6 o’clock, which marked the end of his shift at the cafe. He liked working at the cafe, it paid decently enough, but he was especially exhausted at the moment. He has been taking extra shifts for weeks now, trying to save up enough money for when he enters his first year of university. Just a few more weeks of break and then he has to start going to school once more. </p><p>He unfortunately has to support himself from now on, his aunt telling him that since he is an adult, she doesn't have to handle anything anymore. He can't say that he blames her, he has been a burden to her ever since he was little and his parents died. His aunt has never wanted children, and then one day she gets a knock on the door telling her that she is now the guardian of a five year old. </p><p>Yeah she wasn't happy about that. </p><p>However, Soobin was never mistreated by his aunt. She did her duty as a proper human being and took care of him to the best of her abilities. But, she was never a very warm person, and although soobin was taken good care of physically, he lacked majorly in the emotional department. </p><p>This resulted in him growing up quiet, a tad bit shy, with a subconscious need to take care of others and give out affection as a way to compensate for the fact that he never received any despite always craving it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:51 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>“Hey soobin, can you take these boxes across the street to the dumpster? I need to clean up the back room a bit,” his boss, Kim Seokjin, asked him. </p><p>Soobin nodded without complaint even though he was extremely tired and not really in the mood to carry heavy boxes of trash outside through the afternoon crowd. But he loves his boss, and he loves this job, so he sucks it up and gets moving. </p><p>Soobin is stressed, to say the least. He needs to still find an apartment to live in, one that is close to this cafe and his campus, but is super cheap to afford. Luckily, seokjin has been kind and understanding of his situation, allowing soobin to take on extreme hours and even giving him a slight pay raise to help in any way he can. </p><p>He has been apartment hunting since he graduated high school, but nothing has opened up. All of the students from the nearby university have taken up the space, and every place is booked. </p><p>He tried not to panic too much about his predicament, but he was a worrier, and not having a stable place to sleep in before school started was causing some extreme anxiety to take over. </p><p>In fact, tonight he was going to search more online and hopefully find an opening somewhere. Just a few more minutes and he will be on his way back to his aunt’s house. </p><p>He sighed again, picking up the boxes and heading out of the front of the cafe. He wants to hurry this along as fast as he can. </p><p>Soobin nodded in passing to the few customers that were sitting at the outside tables that decorated the front of the cafe. The cafe was a small but cozy little place, tucked into a busy side street near the local university. It was painted white on the outside, with huge glass windows that allowed people to see inside while passing by. A smart decision on seokjin’s part, if you asked soobin. It invited people in, drawing them near to see what was going on. Seokjin displayed some of his best desserts daily in the windows, and each time it always brings a crowd. </p><p>Outside were metal tables and chairs, also painted white, so that customers could enjoy the fresh air and their orders at the same time. Soobin in particular likes to sit out there while on break. </p><p>The street that the cafe is located on is quite impressive. It's small and narrow, barely allowing two cars side by side to pass by each other. There are always students walking on foot, crowding the street and sidewalks during the school hours to an uncomfortable degree. There are other little shops and stores also located really close nearby, smashed within feet of each other and lining up all the way down until the corner turns into a bigger area of the city. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:52 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>Soobin looked both ways before crossing the small road. It wasn't even properly paved, the concrete crumbling here and there which created horrible potholes that you had to watch out for. Many other people were also lingering in the road, not using the crosswalk which was all the way at the end of the street and such a hassle to walk to. The dumpsters were right there, so why should soobin have to walk a mile all the way around and then walk back just because of a crosswalk? He was too lazy and tired for that.  </p><p>He hoisted up the heavy boxes, trying to get a proper grip on them while walking at the same time. They were stacked high, three of them. Ideally, he should have made two trips, but two trips were for wimps and he didn't feel like expending the extra energy. </p><p>He made it right to the middle of the road, when suddenly he heard some shouting and noises. </p><p>His vision was blocked in front of him from the boxes, but he looked to his side just in time to see what all of the commotion was about. </p><p>His eyes widened in horror. </p><p>Just up ahead, a cargo truck that was parked a few meters away near the top of the slope of the street must have not been properly breaked. It was speeding backwards down the road, dropping its large metal crates of supplies out of the double back doors, tumbling all over the place dangerously. The people on the side of the streets and in the road all tried to dodge and get out of the way. Some were hit with a loose metal crate, some almost got hit by the truck itself. </p><p>Soobin was in the direct line of all of it. </p><p>And there was no time to react. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:53 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>Soobin couldn't look away, it was all happening so goddamn fast, he could barely process it. </p><p>The crates and the truck were speeding right for him and a few others, the street in total uproar.</p><p>His face was still turned to the side, the boxes still in his hands, the truck coming closer, and then…</p><p>He felt a hard push right in the back of his shoulder, causing him to lurch forward and fall to the ground. He landed hard on his knees, the items in the boxes flinging out and scattering everywhere, eventually being stomped on. People were screaming and shouting from the sidelines. Many others were either also on the pavement and injured or trying to scramble on their hands and knees to get out of the way. </p><p>He turned his head around, assessing the chaos. At least 10 people were hurt in some way, some major and some minor. People were running everywhere, others were calling for help on their cellphones and checking on the people that were really injured. </p><p>Soobin blinked, his shoulder hurting. Someone must have pushed into him pretty hard, sending him flying out of the way. Crates from the cargo truck were rolling down the pavement and street still, its contents spilling all over the place.</p><p>His ears were ringing and his heart was pounding at an impossible rate, adrenaline and fear coursing through his veins. He blinked a few times and then finally snapped back into action. </p><p>Help. </p><p>He needs to call for help.</p><p>He immediately got back to his feet and headed straight for the cafe to get seokjin. </p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Two months later: </em>
</p><p>Soobin grunted while hoisting the final box of his items up the three flights of stairs. He propped it on his hip and searched around in his hoodie pocket for his keys before finally being able to open his door.</p><p>He stepped inside, and sighed with relief as he dropped the box to the ground. A smile formed on his lips as he shut the door to his apartment. Yes, his brand new apartment. </p><p>Okay maybe it wasn't brand new, but it was his, and he was so grateful for it. He was starting to freak out big time that he wouldn't have a place to stay while he attended university, and he knew his aunt wouldn't be happy if he continued to live with her. He needed a place that was close to the cafe that seokjin owns, as well as the campus. He couldn't afford a bus pass or a bike, so he has to walk to school each day. </p><p>It would seem that luck was on his side after all. Literally about 2 weeks ago he managed to find out that this apartment opened up suddenly. It was a prime spot, and soobin flew to the landlord, making his offer without even researching heavily into it. He didn't care if it was worn down or old, he just needed a roof over his head and he will worry about the rest later. </p><p>Turns out, the apartment was pretty decent considering the cheap price. Yes it was old, and there would be a draft during the colder months. But it had a working kitchenette with a stove and fridge, running water, a laundry room in the basement of the building, a living room, and a single bedroom and bathroom that overlooked the street. He couldn't ask for anything more. He wasn't picky. </p><p>Soobin’s eyes softened at the glow from the setting sun. He had a nice view from his living room window, and he honestly hasn't felt this relaxed in a long time. He finally has a place to call his own, a small world he could escape to without anyone else. </p><p>Before the sun sets, he decided to get to work unpacking his stuff. He didn't have any lamps or lights at the moment, so he needs to at least set up the essentials before he runs out of daylight. He made a note to himself to check out the thrift store later this week to see what he can salvage. </p><p>Classes will start the day after tomorrow, and he was honest to God nervous. He managed to get into the university down the street, and he will proudly be studying liberal arts, specifically music with a minor in literature. He isn't the most talented in music, but it's always been a dream of his to write his own lyrics and have others sing it for him. A silly dream, one that many people have teased him and mocked him for, including his aunt, but his own dream nonetheless. </p><p>They used to ask him, if he doesn't plan on singing or being an idol then what was the point of studying music? </p><p>But to him, music was more than just being an idol. It was a form of art, and the only way for him to vent out the constant thoughts and words that float inside his head was through poetry and lyrics. Combine that with a melody and you have a song full of emotion, like it should be, like how it used to be. </p><p>Soobin wasn't great at making friends, and for some odd reason he was always a target of bullying and teasing, but that won't stop him from doing something he enjoyed. He's going to be brave, walk into his classes and keep to himself, and hopefully graduate in a few years all on his own. To some people it might be scary to be by yourself, but honestly, soobin has been alone since he was small so this was nothing for him. He was used to it. </p><p>___</p><p>After a few hours of organizing, he slumped on his freshly made bed and sighed in exhaustion. It was actually just his mattress on the floor, but it was still brand new and clean with fresh sheets. He couldn't afford the bed frame, but in a few weeks he will go to the furniture store and get one. It will be slow going, but eventually he will get himself there. He has to be smart and pace himself, only buying the essentials for now. </p><p>It was dark outside, and quiet. He was a bit unsettled being in an unfamiliar place and so alone, but soon enough he will get used to it and the feeling will go away.</p><p>He hopes.</p><p>Despite being hungry, he was too tired to make something to eat and fell asleep right away.</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin spent the entire next day making himself more at home. He cleaned, went grocery shopping, organized all of his clothes and bathroom stuff, and started setting himself up for school. He wasn't a neat freak or anything, but he just didn't want to be under prepared for his first day. </p><p>Soon enough, it was already the end of the day and he once again fell asleep, not forgetting to set his alarm extra early so that he had plenty of time to get ready and check out his new school. </p><p>***</p><p>It was almost 6am and soobin was just about ready to go. Normally getting up at this time would be unheard of for him, but his first class was at 8am and he had absolutely no idea where he was going or where it even was at. He didn't want to be like those cliche students running late on their first day and super lost. </p><p>He also wanted to stop by seokjin's cafe and maybe pick up a refreshing drink before he makes his short but exhausting trek to the campus. </p><p>So with a final look at himself in the mirror hanging on the back of his bedroom door, he nodded and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and making his way to the door. </p><p>He clicked it open, and stepped out into the hall. Just before he closed the door shut, he thought he heard someone say,</p><p>"Are you seriously going to school looking like <em> that?" </em></p><p>But he was too lost in his thoughts to think anything of it, and locked the door with the key before heading down the stairs to the exit. </p><p>Glancing at his phone, he noted the time, hoping he made it before the early morning crowd at the cafe, all of them needing their caffeine fix for the long day they had ahead of themselves. </p><p><em> 5:53 am. </em> </p><p>Just a few more minutes and he will be inevitably stuck in line. </p><p>He hurried up before that could happen. </p><p>***</p><p>Soobin groaned as he walked back to his apartment many hours later. He had only two classes in the early morning, and then took on an unexpected shift at the cafe, subbing for hoseok who called in sick due to a sprained ankle. Luckily, he only had to work until 5:30pm, not his usual 8 hours, and managed to head home before the last rush of people who showed up around 6pm after their work and extracurricular activities. </p><p>He opened the door, toeing off his shoes at the doorway, and dropping his bag near the entrance. He immediately knew that was going to be a daily habit of his by how exhausted he felt. </p><p>He rubbed his eyes and face with his hands, hoping to get some of the sleep out of it, and just stood there for a minute while he settled in the quiet of his apartment. </p><p>Only, it wasn't as quiet as he thought it would be.</p><p><em>"Finally, </em> you're back. I've been waiting all day for you to walk in here. I was hoping it was just my imagination or maybe a trick of the light, but to my utter horror, it wasn't. You seriously went to school wearing an old raggy t-shirt with some band from the 1800s on there, sweatpants, and a baggy hoodie. <em> Please </em> tell me it was 'dress like a hobo' day today," a nasally obnoxious voice chewed him out from the living room. </p><p>Soobin furrowed his brows under his hands, confusion definitely settling in. </p><p>However, his first instinct was to defend himself. </p><p>"It's not a band 'from the 1800s' it's my mom's favorite rock band. And I only dressed like this because I had two classes and just ended up changing at the cafe into my work uniform anyways," he mumbled, looking up and rubbing his eyes a bit. </p><p>But that was a big mistake.</p><p>Because standing right there, in the middle of his living room, was a person. A person he most certainly did not know, nor did he let into his apartment. </p><p>And this person was see-through. Like, <em> transparent. </em> </p><p>So naturally, he handled this situation in the most mature and reasonable manner for someone his age. </p><p>He screamed. </p><p>"Ahhh, what the hell?! How did- but you are- but like what the-<em> 'our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name' </em>-" </p><p>"Bitch, I'm not some demon who needs to be exorcized through prayer, now stop that, you are just embarrassing the both of us," the figure huffed, his hands on his hips while he glared at soobin. </p><p>Soobin backed up into the wall near the entrance, his lips pressed tight into a firm line and his knees and hands shaking. It was common knowledge for anyone who knew soobin, which was mostly just his aunt and seokjin, that he was in fact, a big wimp. Like, a <em> major </em> wimp. He gets scared easily over the stupidest things. </p><p>Bugs, that's a big fat nope in his book.</p><p>Spiders, definite nope.</p><p>Thunder and lightning, a small nope. </p><p>Loud noises, heights, scary movies, he hates them all.</p><p>And nowhere in his book is he prepared to mentally handle a freaking <em> ghost </em> of all things. </p><p>Even though ok, now that he's calming down and his heart doesn't feel like it's about to explode from fright, he can kind of admit that this ghost was super attractive. </p><p>Not the usual cliche blood and decaying skin, but instead something way more appealing. This ghost had pink hair with streaks of blonde and blue, almost like multicolored cotton candy. He was slim and tall, but not as tall as soobin. He wore a teal v-neck long sleeved shirt tucked into white pants, with a belt cinched in that accentuated his small waist, and a dark beret that smoothed back some of his hair from his face. </p><p>He looked good. Like really damn good despite being transparent because oh yeah, he's a <em> spirit. </em></p><p>The ghost rolled his eyes in a sassy manner. </p><p>"I'm dreaming. This is a dream or a nightmare, and I'm gonna pinch myself and then wake up." Soobin pinched himself right away, and then flinched at his now reddening skin. </p><p>"Are you done yet?" The ghost asked, impatience in his voice. </p><p>"No," soobin mumbled, pinching his other arm. Still nothing.</p><p>The ghost snorted, a smirk on his face. "Now that we established this isn't a dream, can we sit down like civil people and have a decent talk?" </p><p>"B-But are you even a person?" Soobin argued. </p><p>The ghost pouted. "Now that was just rude. C'mon man, you should know better than that. Just because I don't have a physical body doesn't mean I am any less of a person than you," he lectured.</p><p>Ok, yeah, soobin does feel a bit bad now that he mentioned it. </p><p>He weakly nodded his head at the ghost, watching as he walked towards the small kitchen table and sat at one of the two seats available. The ghost patted the table, indicating for soobin to sit in the other spot. </p><p>Soobin’s legs still felt like jelly, and he honestly wants to run out of here right now, maybe get a priest, or some holy water. But honestly? Nobody would believe him, or care, and that would be a huge hassle that he really didn't need right now. </p><p>The ghost looked over at him and waited patiently, almost as if he could see the chaotic thoughts swirling in soobin’s mind. Soobin continued to stare at him, looking for a reason to not bolt out of the apartment right now, moving far far away.</p><p>However, all he saw was a normal looking boy (as normal as you can get while being a spirit) with normal eyes and a cute innocent face, just staring back at him. </p><p>Soobin was too kind and compassionate to run away, not when someone was looking at him like a puppy dog. </p><p>So he finally detached himself from his wall, and slowly walked over to sit on the other chair across from the ghost. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the ghost to say something. </p><p>"You actually handled this a lot better than I thought you would, minus the whole screaming like a little girl part. The guy before you was out of here in an hour," the ghost chuckled lightly. And oh, his laugh was kind of pretty, the sound almost musical. </p><p>"Uhm, thanks?" Soobin said quietly, blinking at the other, still in slight disbelief this was happening to him. </p><p>"Anyways, ok we started off on the wrong foot. I apologize for being rude to you about your outfit, but I couldn't help it. So can we please start over?" The ghost asked him, hope in his eyes. </p><p>Soobin completely forgot about him making fun of his outfit, as if <em> that's </em> the reason why he would be upset right now. He snorted, unable to help himself. </p><p>"Uh yeah, no hard feelings. We're cool," he said back, and the ghost immediately deflated in relief. It was almost hysterical to soobin, how this spirit would be so disheartened that he upset soobin over his clothes and not the fact that he was...well… <em> haunting </em> this place he just bought. </p><p>"Ok thank goodness. So I'll start since you are still all goofy acting. My name is Choi Yeonjun and I'm a ghost." </p><p>Soobin nodded his head slowly, trying to come to terms with this bizarre and weird scenario. </p><p>Yeonjun continued to stare at him, waiting for him to say something. That seemed to kick start soobins brain again.</p><p>"Right, oh yeah. My name is Choi Soobin, I'm 20 years old, first year at University," he babbled. </p><p>Yeonjun's face brightened up at that. "Oh! I'm older than you! I'm 21 years old and in my second year in university." </p><p>Soobin wasn't going to say it. He didn't want to offend yeonjun. He wasn't going to make the same mistake again like he did earlier. </p><p>Yeonjun's face fell slightly, almost like he could read his mind exactly. "Ok, I would be a second year right now, if you know...I wasn't dead and all." </p><p>"O-oh…" soobin said dumbly. He wanted to try and lighten the mood a bit, so he blurted out the only thing that came to mind. "And how long have you <em> been </em> 21 years old-" </p><p>Yeonjun smiled, rolling his eyes. "Oh my God, <em> shut up. </em> You did not just use a famous twilight line on me. I haven't been dead that long, thank you very much," he giggled and immediately soobin cracked a smile, feeling better now that the mood wasn't so solemn.</p><p>"W-would it be rude to ask how exactly you...well, died?" Soobin questioned him. But then he immediately held up his hands and waved them around with nervousness. "But you don't have to answer that if you are uncomfortable, I just thought if we got everything out in the open now it wouldn't be so awkward and-" </p><p>Yeonjun laughed again, his facial features softening while looking at soobin. It shut the younger boy up briefly, and his heart started to pound for a different reason. </p><p>"Yeah, I would like that soobin-ah." Then he furrowed his brows in a cute confused look. "I honestly can't answer that question for you. I don't remember anything at all. I just know my name, and bits and pieces of my life before my death, but that's it. I know that I love to dance, I like fashion...and...yeah," he finished lamely, shrugging his shoulders. </p><p>Soobin nodded. He was beginning to feel a bit more comfortable with the whole idea of yeonjun being a ghost. Talking to him like this seemed to calm him down considerably. He was just so, <em> normal. </em> </p><p>"Ok, that's fine. Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember something like that. So uh, why exactly are you...here?" Soobin didn't want to have to put it so bluntly like this, but well, this is his apartment, and technically yeonjun was an intruder.</p><p>"Uhm, I live here, duh," yeonjun said, waving his hand around as if that cleared everything up. </p><p>"No, I live here now. This is my apartment that I signed and bought," soobin argued. There was no way in hell some ghost is kicking him out of his apartment, not when he just got here. Soobin might be a scaredy cat, but he was also no pushover. </p><p>That seemed to spark some kind of challenge in yeonjun, and the ghost glared at him directly in the eyes. Soobin did not waver, also staring at yeonjun with a fierce determination. </p><p>"Yeah but I was here first," yeonjun argued back. </p><p>"And you are dead. So it's my turn to live here," soobin continued. Thankfully, yeonjun didn’t get upset by that statement. Instead, that only seemed to piss him off more. </p><p>"Don't be such a brat, are you seriously going to kick a poor spirit out of here? Why do you have to be so heartless? Where would I go?" Yeonjun complained, crossing his arms over his chest and standing his ground. </p><p>"Quit playing the victim, why don't you go haunt someone else in the building and leave me be? Or, I don't know, maybe go into the light?" Soobin pouted out his lips in irritation. </p><p>"First of all, I can't leave the apartment, I already tried. And second of all, the light is a bullshit myth that everyone believes. There isn't a light out there, unless you count the shitty streetlight at the corner of the block." </p><p>"That will do then," soobin nodded. </p><p>"The fuck it will!" Yeonjun shouted. </p><p>"So what, are you just gonna float around in here while I live here-" soobin stopped his rant, squinting his eyes at yeonjun. "Wait a damn minute. You just said you can't leave the apartment. I've been living here for two whole days, and just now met you-" </p><p>Yeonjun's irritated face changed into one of guilt, meaning he knew where soobin was going with this. </p><p>"Have you been spying on me since I got here?!" Soobin stood up, glaring accusingly down at yeonjun. </p><p>Yeonjun also stood up from the chair, indefensive mode. "Now, don't make it sound like I'm some pervert or peeping tom. Here me out first."</p><p>"Oh my God, did you watch me <em> change?!!" </em> Soobin yelled, maybe a little too loudly. </p><p>Yeonjun's eyes went wide. "No! I swear I didn't! I walked out whenever you looked like you were going to! Listen-" </p><p>"That's it," soobin huffed. "I swear I got some salt around here somewhere." He moved to check his kitchen drawer but then yeonjun walked around the table and stood in front of him. </p><p>"Soobin, don't be a dumbass, salt won't work on me either. God, you are so cliche when it comes to ghost stuff. Now listen to me! I didn't introduce myself right away because I didn't want to scare you! Think about it. Would you have stayed if you found out that the place was haunted?" </p><p>Soobin glared at the space over yeonjun’s shoulder. "Yes, because I have nowhere else to go," he mumbled childishly. </p><p>That shut yeonjun up. "oh...ok well. Maybe we can come to some kind of agreement then. You know. Like mature adults." </p><p>"What kind of agreement?" Soobin mumbled some more, making yeonjun break out in a smile despite the little spat they just had. The taller boy was just too cute for words. </p><p>"Since I can't leave the apartment, and you can't leave because you have nowhere else to go, maybe we can share the space? It's not like I take up any room with my stuff or whatever…" yeonjun trailed off, watching soobin’s face closely. </p><p>Soobin was silent for a good minute, contemplating the suggestion. He really didn't see a way out of this. He needed this apartment desperately, and it's not yeonjun’s complete fault that he couldn't leave. And really, if he was going to look on the bright side, he guesses this situation could be way worse. He honestly could have been haunted by a demon or something totally scary and terrifying rather than a cute boy around his age. </p><p>Soobin sighed, his resolve relenting. "A roommate wasn't part of the deal," he muttered to himself. </p><p>Yeonjun took that as an okay. He smiled really wide, his eyes scrunching up adorably, and he jumped up and down clapping. </p><p>"Yay! This is going to be so much fun! I was totally bored here all by myself." </p><p>Then he started to dance around soobin, and soobin just rolled his eyes. </p><p>This was the craziest day ever. </p><p>***</p><p>Soobin woke up super early the next morning to a noise coming from his closet. He furrowed his brows and glanced at his phone. </p><p>
  <em> 5:53 am </em>
</p><p>He still had about an hour left to sleep before he had to wake up for his first class. Today's class was a little later than yesterday's, which he was grateful for because he was going to need the extra sleep later on as the schoolwork starts to pile up. </p><p>He grunted and shifted in his bed, propping himself up on his elbow to glare at the dark closet. </p><p>Only, what he saw made him almost scream again. </p><p>A handful of his old t-shirts were floating in mid-air, right there in front of his dark closet. His pulse started to race rapidly, and he swears he was going to have a heart attack. </p><p>His sleep induced brain finally started to work again, and he remembered everything that happened the night before. </p><p>Yeonjun, the friendly neighborhood ghost, was now his <em> roommate. </em> </p><p>And he was currently making things float in mid-air, which was<em> so </em> not okay. </p><p>"CAN YOU NOT MOVE MY THINGS WHILE BEING INVISIBLE?! THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Soobin shrieked in a girly voice. </p><p>The clothes flopped around for a second at soobin’s loud voice, and then yeonjun appeared, holding them like a normal person would. </p><p>"Damn soobin, don't be so loud in the morning," yeonjun said, holding his chest from the small fright soobin gave him. </p><p>"Maybe I wouldn't be yelling if you weren't causing a ruckus so freaking early in the morning," soobin grumbled, flopping back down on his pillow and pulling the comforter closer to his chin. </p><p>Yeonjun dropped soobin’s stuff and walked over to the younger boy, staring down at him and grinning. "Somebody is cranky in the morning," he teased, poking soobin’s cheek. It didn't even occur to soobin that yeonjun was touching him despite being a spirit. </p><p>"Go away," soobin hissed, rolling over so his back was facing yeonjun. </p><p>"I was just helping you reorganize your closet. I got bored while waiting for you to wake up," yeonjun explained, walking to the other side of the mattress and sitting down on it. </p><p>"My closet is fine," soobin said, squeezing his eyes shut and hoping that if he ignored yeonjun then the ghost would leave him be. </p><p>It was silent for a few long minutes, soobin letting sleep take him away again, when yeonjun spoke up and broke it. </p><p>"Hey, you wanna go watch the sunrise with me?" He asked. </p><p>"No," soobin responded immediately, pulling the warm blanket over his head. </p><p>"Aw come on, it's one of my favorite times of day," yeonjun whined, reaching over and shaking soobin’s shoulder. </p><p>"I don't care," soobin huffed. There was one thing in this world that he loved more than anything else, and it was his sleep. </p><p>"Fine," yeonjun breathed out, getting up from the mattress and walking out to the living room window. He will just have to bother soobin again when he's up. </p><p>***</p><p>"You are going to wear that, and you will not complain about it," yeonjun said firmly, his hands back on his hips. </p><p>"It's been a while since I wore actual clothes," soobin complained despite yeonjun’s warning. "Why can't I wear my sweatpants and hoodie?" </p><p>"Because you are like an adorable giant bunny, and I will not tolerate you walking out of here looking like a homeless man. I still have nightmares from that time you wore that terrible outfit," yeonjun shuttered. </p><p>"That was literally two days ago," soobin rolled his eyes. He was quickly learning that yeonjun was on the dramatic side. "And can you even sleep?" Soobin shot back at him.</p><p>"You will not back sass me just to get out of wearing jeans. I may be dead, but I'm not a doormat," yeonjun said while glaring at soobin, daring him to argue further. </p><p>The past two days, they have been bickering nonstop like an old married couple. Mostly because soobin is lazy, and yeonjun is fussy. Somehow though, this odd relationship of theirs worked, much to soobin's surprise. </p><p>Soobin breathed in a calming breath, and then went to sling his bag over his shoulder. He was currently wearing a light pink knit sweater and light blue jeans. He has many sweaters actually, mostly from when he had to wear decent clothes in high school. But ever since he got made fun of for his simple but classy fashion choices, he decided to throw away most of it and box the rest of the clothes up, not even bothering to try anymore. Besides, he loves comfort way more than fashion, and jeans were not as comfortable as his sweats. </p><p>"Fine, I gotta go now," he grumbled under his breath. Yeonjun sent him a snarky smile, knowing he won this round. </p><p>"Excellent, I'll see you later then," yeonjun told him, waving from the hallway as soobin exited the apartment and locked up. </p><p>For some reason, soobin liked hearing that. </p><p>***</p><p>Life with yeonjun the next few weeks was...fun. Don't get soobin wrong, it was still totally bizarre, but it was also comforting. They got along really well, aside from the whole arguing back and forth about stupid things, oh and the small fact that yeonjun was a ghost, but other than that it worked out great. </p><p>One time, they argued about who gets to watch tv on the new (but used) television set soobin recently bought with his latest paycheck. Soobin wanted to watch a documentary, but yeonjun wanted to watch a cooking show. It ended with soobin winning since yeonjun couldn't pick up the remote to change the channel. </p><p>But then yeonjun childishly talked through the whole thing, resulting in soobin shouting at him to shut up before he 'cleanses the room with sage' and then ultimately the landlord called soobin up to tell him he has noise complaints from his neighbors on the third floor. Then it led to him trying to explain that no, he didn't have company over, and it was just 'him talking to himself', making yeonjun crack the hell up the whole time. </p><p>After soobin got off the phone, he headed straight for the salt he keeps on hand on the kitchen counter now, and yeonjun promising not to make it sound like soobin was crazy and talking to himself again. </p><p>Another time, soobin ordered takeout food, a rare thing for him since he's tight on money, but this called for a desperate occasion. He ended up doing really bad on his first exam for the semester, and was majorly upset about it. He was too tired to study as much as he wanted, since he worked the night before, and that resulted in him not performing so great the next day. </p><p>So naturally, he drowned his sorrows in food. </p><p>When the delivery boy came to drop off the food to his apartment, soobin made the mistake of yelling over his shoulder for yeonjun to get the plates, which earned him a funny look from the poor delivery boy. Soobin didn't even notice. He was so used to yeonjun by now that he didn't even think twice about the fact that yeonjun is a spirit and other people would never believe him or understand the situation. Soobin took his food after paying, and shut the door. </p><p>Yeonjun was sad that soobin seemed so down in the dumps, and started fussing over him, which secretly made soobin happy. He’s never had someone fuss over him before. </p><p>They sat on the ground in the living room, and yeonjun tried to make the younger boy feel better by cracking lame dad jokes. It did work to a degree, and soon soobin was confiding in yeonjun, telling him about how worried he is if he doesn't do better in school. </p><p>Eventually, they started sharing more and more of their days together, to the point that it has become a domestic routine. Soobin would leave for class in the early morning, and be greeted in the late afternoon by yeonjun's warm smile and eagerness to hear how his day went. </p><p>They were growing so close that Soobin was starting to share some of yeonjun's strange quirks and habits, and at the same time he was rubbing off a bit on yeonjun as well. </p><p>Much to soobin's surprise, he was the happiest he has ever been, and he knows it's all because of yeonjun. </p><p>***</p><p>"I made some tea, you should drink it. It will help you warm up," yeonjun said, sitting next to soobin on the bed (yes, bed. Soobin got a proper bed frame for it finally). </p><p>"Mmmph," soobin grunted, half asleep. He rolled over and checked the time on his phone. </p><p>
  <em> 5:53 am </em>
</p><p>"Did I miss it?" Soobin asked, yawning slightly and blinking up at yeonjun with an adorable puffy face and bed hair sticking out over the pillow. </p><p>Yeonjun knew what he meant. He smiled, shaking his head at him. "No, you didn't. But it will be almost time, so get up!" </p><p>Soobin nodded, throwing the covers off of himself. He listened to yeonjun, wrapping his body up in a throw blanket and shuffling to the kitchen to pick up his mug of tea yeonjun made for him. The days have been getting chillier, and yeonjun was right, the tea will warm him up while he sits outside on his small balcony. </p><p>They've made it a morning ritual to watch the sunrise together. It was one of yeonjun's favorite times of day, the other being right at sunset. Every morning, around 6 am, the sun begins to rise, and soobin's apartment has a fantastic view of it. He couldn't really see the sunset all that well because it obviously was on the other side of the building by the end of the day, but he personally thinks the sunrise was a lot prettier. </p><p>They settled on the balcony, soobin cuddling more into his blanket with his mug of tea. He was a freeze baby and always cold. Yeonjun learned this about him quickly, and always made sure to remind him to bundle up before going out now. </p><p>Soobin looked up to the sky, noting how the dark was slowly fading into a lighter shade. The sun didn't peek over the horizon yet, but you could tell it was on its way by the color of the sky. </p><p>"Why do you like the sunrise and sunset so much?" Soobin asked yeonjun, his head still pointed up. </p><p>Yeonjun glanced at soobin, humming in thought. </p><p>"It's not necessarily the sunrise and sunset I like so much, but rather the time before it," yeonjun answered him. </p><p>This made soobin confused. He looked back at yeonjun, meeting his gaze. "What do you mean?" </p><p>Yeonjun continued to stare at him, his eyes intense and filled with something soobin can't quite describe. </p><p>"The sunrise and sunset are pretty, but I like the several minutes before it the most. The time when everything is quiet and frozen in place. It's almost like the world holds it's breath, waiting for the day to break. It's at this time where everything is peaceful and calm, before the world let's that breath go, and our chaotic lives catch up to us." </p><p>Soobin listened carefully, his heart starting to beat in his chest with something he wasn’t familiar with. Yeonjun's words were beautiful, like a soft poem, and soobin wanted to hear more of it. </p><p>Yeonjun then looked back up to the sky, the side of his face contrasting with the background, almost like a painting. Soobin wanted to burn this image into his memory to keep forever. </p><p>"Don't you think the sky is the most beautiful like this? It's my favorite color. The color of a gentle blue that blends into a calming lavender, that blends into a soft yellow, and eventually a warm orange near the horizon. You only get to see this color blue right before the sunrise, and right after the sunset, it doesn't show up at any other time of day. I've tried and tried to paint it how I see it, but I can never get it quite right," yeonjun said with a pout. </p><p>His last statement caught soobin off guard. Yeonjun doesn't usually remember much from his time being alive, and it surprised him. </p><p>"You used to paint?" Soobin asked yeonjun quietly, not wanting to break the warm and breathless moment they built around themselves. </p><p>Yeonjun continued to look up at the sky, not wanting to miss a single moment of this dawn before the sun peeks over the horizon and shines brightly in their eyes. He nodded unconsciously at soobin’s question. </p><p>"Yeah, I loved art, as a hobby mostly. I used to paint all the time, especially with watercolors. My hands were always a mess, I always used to get scolded by…" yeonjun trailed off, almost as if he realized what he was saying. </p><p>He looked down at his hands, perfectly clean and free of paint. Then he furrowed his brows, confusion written all over his face. </p><p>"By…" soobin prompted, interested in learning everything he could about yeonjun’s life before dying. </p><p>"By…" yeonjun muttered, but he couldn't remember by who. "I don't...know…" he whispered. </p><p>Soobin didn't know what to say, didn't know how to comfort him. This whole situation was beyond his control, and his heart ached at the lost look on yeonjun’s face that always appears when he can't remember something from his life before. </p><p>He brought up a hand, almost as if he was going to pat yeonjun’s shoulder or maybe envelop him in a hug, but then he was horribly reminded that he couldn't use physical gestures to comfort him. He stopped in mid-air, then let his hand drop back down to his lap. He sipped his tea, giving himself time to hide his emotions properly on his face. </p><p>Yeonjun didn't need to be reminded just how different he was. </p><p>Yeonjun seemed to snap out of whatever thoughts he was lost in, and looked back at soobin with a smile. This smile was different from the others though. It wasn't necessarily sad, but it wasn't happy either. It was almost...fond, like yeonjun was remembering something from long ago. A smile filled with…</p><p>Soobin couldn't quite think of the word, despite being into literature and poetry. </p><p>"Well, you better get going if you want to make it to your first class. Are you working a shift at the cafe tonight?" Yeonjun asked, standing up and breaking whatever moment they were in. </p><p>Soobin nodded dumbly. "Yeah, seokjin hired a new kid to cover some of the daily shifts and help lessen the load on us. I have to train him until late tonight." </p><p>Yeonjun frowned. "You're gonna be tired again," he warned. </p><p>Soobin sighed, running a hand through his dark hair and also standing up to head back inside. "Yeah, but it's okay. I'm getting paid extra for this, which is good." </p><p>Yeonjun backed up into the house, his thinking face on. Soobin can recognize his change in facial features by now, being able to read his mind before he even says anything. </p><p>"What are you planning, hyung?" He sighed, knowing yeonjun was going to come up with some kind of crazy idea. He was unpredictable like that. A total opposite of soobin’s steady and calm nature.</p><p>"Nothing major, have a little faith in me soobinnie," yeonjun smiled cheekily. "I was just going to suggest why don't I make dinner for you tonight? I love cooking, and I know what all your favorites are by now!" He clapped his hands, getting more excited the more he thought about it. </p><p>Soobin noted how yeonjun unconsciously let slip another fact about himself from when he used to be alive, but he didn't point it out. He didn't want to bring that sad and lost look back onto yeonjun's face again. </p><p>"Uh yeah sure, but I have been meaning to ask you hyung…" soobin started to say, getting yeonjun’s attention. It sometimes unsettles soobin just how much yeonjun pays attention to him. He’s not used to having someone focus solely on him. "How exactly are you able to pick up and touch things sometimes, and then other times you can't?" Soobin immediately thought to the time yeonjun couldn't pick up the remote to change the tv channel, but then thought of literally this morning when he made soobin some tea. </p><p>Yeonjun tapped his chin in contemplation. "Honestly? I don't have a clue. I can only touch things at certain times of the day. After becoming a ghost, I figured out it happened around 6 in the morning or 6 in the evening. So as long as you come home around that time, dinner will be waiting!" He smiled, doing a little dance. </p><p>"It's probably the witching hour for you," soobin smirked, teasing yeonjun. </p><p>Yeonjun glared at him. "Hey! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a demon! Or a vengeful spirit, or a witch, or anything else you accuse me of! And stop asking me if I can do all of the stuff Casper the Ghost can do! That's just insulting." </p><p>Soobin shrugged, heading to his bedroom. "It's not my fault you are literally the lamest ghost on the planet. You can't even walk through walls." He snickered, thinking of the time a week ago when yeonjun tried, and ended up bashing into the wall with a thud and falling on his ass. </p><p>"That was <em> one </em> time!" Yeonjun shrieked, following soobin into the bedroom, too stubborn to give up on this argument. </p><p>Soobin snorted, picking up the clothes yeonjun laid out for him on his bed before he woke him up. "Don't lie to me. I know you have been secretly trying to walk through tables or stick your hand through random stuff ever since you realized you couldn't." </p><p>Yeonjun flushed super red at that, embarrassed that he was caught acting so silly. </p><p>So naturally he went on the defense, his temper flaring.</p><p>"Give me a break here! If you were a spirit, you would have tried too!" </p><p>Soobin didn't answer as he pulled off his pajama shirt, showing his bare chest while grabbing the sweater for the day. Yeonjun flushed even brighter red, but for a completely different reason. Luckily, soobin didn't notice. </p><p>"Yes, but you looked so cute every time you got mad. Also, the landlord called and complained about the noise again, so try to refrain from bashing into my doors," he mumbled as he pushed his head through his sweater collar. </p><p>"I don't look cute when I'm mad," yeonjun grumbled, crossing his hands over his chest and looking away. Soobin cooed at that, changing his pants too. Yeonjun purposely didn't look otherwise he might have died (again). </p><p>Soobin walked into his single bathroom, determined to fix his bed head. </p><p>"Anyways, thank you hyung, for offering to cook. Are you sure it won't be a problem for you?" He called over to the ghost. </p><p>Yeonjun made a pshhhh sound, acting like the question was ridiculous. "Yeah I'll be fine. Just hurry back as soon as you can, okay?" Yeonjun ended his sentence with a bit of loneliness to his tone, but thankfully soobin didn't catch it since he had the tap water running in the bathroom sink. </p><p>"Mmkay!" He responded, his mouth full of toothpaste as he brushed his teeth. </p><p>Yeonjun once again waved goodbye as soobin headed out, ignoring the ache in his heart when soobin left him alone for another day. </p><p>***</p><p>Another few weeks went by, and soobin's daily life was still strange but oddly comfortable. And it was all thanks to his unexpected roommate. </p><p>Soobin and yeonjun spent almost every single minute of the day together. It usually started off with yeonjun waking soobin up before his alarm clock, a mug of tea ready to go and his face full of anticipation. They watched the sky turn to that gentle baby blue color before the sun decided to rise. Then soobin would wear something yeonjun picked out for him and head off to school. By the time he came back around 6pm, exhausted and beat, yeonjun would have dinner waiting. It used to bother soobin at first, eating in front of yeonjun when yeonjun couldn't have any of the food for himself. But yeonjun assured him enough times that he was just happy to be of help to soobin, enjoying the fact that soobin loved his cooking more than anyone else's. It was heartbreaking and endearing for yeonjun to hear about how soobin never used to have a home cooked meal waiting for him, his aunt was not much of a chef, but now this was one of his most favorite times of day, all because of yeonjun. It made yeonjun feel special, in a way. </p><p>They spent dinner time just talking, mostly soobin telling yeonjun all about his life outside of the four walls of the apartment, and yeonjun loved listening to him talk. </p><p>Then soobin would spread his books and papers all over the living room floor, doing his homework and studying. He had a desk in his room now, but he liked studying out in the open, with yeonjun lounging on the couch behind him and playing music from a playlist he made on the tv a while back ago (when he could pick up the remote and navigate the settings). The music didn't bother soobin, since that was his love after all, and yeonjun had a variety of taste in music genres soobin hasn't heard of before. </p><p>After that, soobin would make himself a late night snack while studying, oftentimes falling asleep against the base of the couch, and yeonjun having to eventually wake him up and force the other boy to head to bed. </p><p>***</p><p>It was no secret that yeonjun had a massive crush on soobin, probably from the moment soobin walked into this apartment, but now it was growing into something more. Something strong and pure and wonderful, and so... <em> familiar. </em> </p><p>Something yeonjun knows can never be. </p><p>It is something that is simply not possible, and yeonjun was smacked abruptly with this reality one night when soobin came home later than usual. </p><p>He waited as the dinner grew colder and colder by the hour, his worry increasing when there was no sign of soobin. The sun set already and the sky was darkening to an ugly black. </p><p>He chewed on his bottom lip while sitting at the kitchen table, his mind coming up with all sorts of insane scenarios. </p><p>Finally, the lock to the door turned, and he heard his most favorite voice in the world. </p><p>"I'm back!" Soobin called from the entrance, kicking his shoes off and throwing his bag on the ground. He turned the corner into the kitchen and hurriedly sat down to eat his cold dinner. Soobin didn't mind though, he would eat anything that yeonjun cooked. </p><p>"Sorry I'm late hyung. The new employee that seokjin hired? Well, his name is Kang Taehyun, and he is so adorable! He might look all intimidating on the outside, but I can tell he is secretly a softy. Taehyun wanted to get some bubble tea at that new place on campus I told you I've been dying to try, and well how could I say no? Especially when he offered to pay," soobin grinned up at yeonjun, his cheeks stuffed with food making him look like a cute bunny rabbit. Soobin didn't notice the way yeonjun’s face fell slightly at the mention of a new guy entering their small world they built for just the two of them. "Anyways," soobin continued after guzzling some cola yeonjun set out for him, "I meant to tell you I would be late in coming home, but I didn't know how, because well, you know, you don't have a phone or anything. And it would seem weird if I told taehyun I needed to stop off at home first, but I figured you wouldn't mind if I showed up a little bit late." Soobin continued to babble, not catching on that yeonjun was oddly quiet, which was completely unlike him. </p><p>Yeonjun was happy for soobin, in a way. Soobin rarely had friends, and being close to a dead guy didn't count. Yeonjun knows this. He's glad that soobin seemed to find someone who could love him just as much as yeonjun does. </p><p>Only, yeonjun seems to love him a bit more than was normal for a best friend, and a small spark of jealousy and hurt started to take form inside his heart. </p><p>He wants to be honest with soobin, tell him that he doesn't like how this Kang Taehyun is now taking up some of their precious time they spend together. He doesn't like how things are starting to change. </p><p>But no matter how selfish yeonjun wants to be, he knows he has no right to voice these opinions. Soobin was alive and free to do whatever he wanted, and yeonjun was dead. It was as simple as that. Completely black and white. </p><p>It really hit yeonjun hard in that moment, just how different they were, and what will inevitably happen as time continues to move forward for soobin. </p><p>So, being the better person, yeonjun smiled as best he could, eagerly listening to soobin tell him all about his new friend with an open heart and mind. </p><p>Soobin wasn't his. He never will be.</p><p>And he <em> knows </em> that. </p><p>***</p><p>Yeonjun has been distant lately, and soobin was starting to notice something was off. </p><p>Every time he talks about his day, yeonjun seems to become tense. He still smiles and asks the appropriate questions, but it just doesn't reach his eyes, or the tone of his voice seemed forced. </p><p>So naturally, soobin thinks he's become annoying, babbling about his day constantly. Maybe he has been too insensitive, telling yeonjun all about what's going on outside and not taking into consideration the fact that yeonjun can't leave the apartment. He's stuck in this place day and night while soobin gets to brag about all the stuff he's doing. </p><p>So soobin decided to become a little more self aware, talking about his own day and problems less and less with yeonjun. </p><p>Days went by where they hardly interacted with each other, until it came to a point where soobin comes home late after spending time with taehyun and yeonjun is nowhere to be found. </p><p>Except, soobin knows yeonjun is around because he still cooks him dinner, the plate waiting for when he comes home, and he still makes him a cup of tea in the morning even though they don't watch the sunrise each day like they used to. </p><p>It's been 3 months since soobin moved into the apartment, and not once has he ever felt as alone as he does now. </p><p>What went wrong? What changed? </p><p>To make matters worse, soobin has been getting bullied at school. More than once, one of the older students in his music theory class (a third time repeating student because he was a dumbfuck) tried to take his homework from him. He stood his ground, but the threats and snide comments have been getting worse and worse. </p><p>Soobin was stressed, and sad, and alone, and finally at his breaking point. </p><p>Today has been the worst day he's ever had. </p><p>It was so bad, that he called off of work for the very first time. Even seokjin seemed worried by the sound of soobin’s voice on the phone. </p><p>Soobin lied and said he was just swamped with schoolwork, but he knows his very clever boss didn't buy it. Thankfully, seokjin didn't ask further questions and let him have the next day off too. </p><p>Taehyun even texted him saying he would take his shifts for him, which he was more than grateful for. </p><p>Soobin arrived home early from class, unannounced, and kicked his shoes off at the entrance. Then he dropped his bag onto the floor, walked past a surprised yeonjun who was lounging on the couch, walked into his room and curled into bed. </p><p>And he cried. </p><p>Yeonjun was beyond worried, immediately at soobins side and kneeling on the ground by his bed. </p><p>"Soobinnie?" He called out to the younger boy. "Soobinnie, what's wrong? What happened?" </p><p>Yeonjun was an idiot. He put his feelings first, and in return ignored soobin, who meant more to him than anything else in the world. Now soobin was sad and upset, and yeonjun didn't know how to fix it. </p><p>Soobin sniffled, his cheeks getting stained with hot tear marks. Yeonjun thought for a minute that soobin wouldn't talk to him, that he was too mad at the spirit for distancing himself and ignoring him for days. </p><p>But to his relief, soobin was too kind and compassionate to hold a grudge, or maybe he secretly wanted to believe that soobin liked him more than just an average friend, because soobin opened up to him, crying and explaining why he was sad, and letting himself be vulnerable in front of yeonjun.</p><p>"H-he took my project, and t-turned it in as his own work. The professor called me into the office today, saying I p-plagirized on my own paper. If I don't r-redo it, then I fail the c-class," soobin sobbed, his pillow growing more soaked by the minute. </p><p>Yeonjun fussed over soobin, wanting to tuck him into the blankets and protect him from the world, but being unable to since it was only noon. </p><p>"Who did soobinnie? Who took your work from you?" Yeonjun asked, cursing himself for not knowing. It was his fault soobin didn't tell him about this sooner. </p><p>"Just a b-bully from one of my classes. He got jealous that the professor praised me for a previous project, and has been making it his mission for a few weeks to pick on me. He somehow got a hold of my midterm project and turned it in early. Then when I turned my finished project in earlier this week, the professor thought I copied," soobin sniffled. </p><p>Yeonjun was furious, beyond furious. How dare this lowlife pick on soobin? Soobin was sweet and caring, and didn't deserve this bullshit. </p><p>"Did you tell the professor the truth?" Yeonjun asked softly, trying to make his voice sound calm and comforting. If he could touch soobin, he would have brushed through his hair and wrapped him up in a hug. </p><p>"Y-yes, I explained everything. But the professor said he couldn't prove that the original was mine, and so now I have to revise everything. He's giving me less than a week to complete a project that took me<em> two </em> weeks," soobin started to cry a fresh wave of tears. </p><p>"Oh soobinnie, my love," yeonjun said, his heart breaking at the sound of soobin’s sobs. Soobin turned his back on yeonjun, facing the other side of the bed. He didn't want the older boy to see how much of a wreck he is. </p><p>Yeonjun wasn't having any of that, and he walked around and climbed on top, laying next to soobin, his face inches away from the other's. </p><p>"I just, I'm so tired hyung. Between you hating me all of a sudden, and school dumping tons of work on me, taking extra shifts at the cafe, and finally <em> this. </em> I am just so...tired." </p><p>Yeonjun hitched in a breath. "Soobin let's get one thing straight. I don't hate you at all, and I never will. In fact, even long before you moved into the apartment, I've always-" </p><p>Yeonjun stopped his sentence abruptly, unsure of what he was about to say. His head hurt really bad, and brief images of things he's never seen before flooded his memory. </p><p>But now was not the time with his growing problems. This was about soobin. </p><p>He scooted closer to soobin, urging the other boy to look at him. </p><p>"Soobin," he whispered. "soobin it's all my fault. I was just being stupid, and you did nothing wrong. I was just upset and jealous that you made another friend, and I was mad at myself that I can't be alive to share these things with you. You deserve someone better than some random ghost who can't even move on into the afterlife. And that made me feel alone, because this is how it's got to be. I'm happy that you are going out there and making friends with people who are your age and can touch you and hug you whenever they want. Something that I want to do but can't."</p><p>Soobin looked at yeonjun, his eyes glassy and full of something yeonjun didn't want to see. Something that caused a certain warmth to tingle throughout his entire being. </p><p>Soobin sniffed, scooching even closer to yeonjun, even though he couldn't feel him there next to him. Yeonjun kept very still, wishing more than anything else that he could grab soobin by the waist and align their bodies together, tangle their legs up so much to the point that no one could tell where one began and the other ended. </p><p>And maybe, just maybe, soobin felt the same way too. </p><p>Yeonjun blinked, breaking the eye contact and then swallowed, saying what must be said. </p><p>"Let's be honest soobin," he whispered still. "Things won't be like this forever. One day you are going to move out of this apartment, move on to bigger and better things. And I'll just remain here-" </p><p>"No," soobin said in a strangled breath. "Don't talk like that," he said hoarsely, his voice cracking. But soobin knows it's true. He knows that yeonjun is right. </p><p>It was absurd, really. Just how much yeonjun means to him. A ghost with no memories. </p><p>Yeonjun smiled a soft smile. It wasn't sad, but it wasn't happy, and soobin hates this smile the most. Yeonjun brought up a hand, almost as if he intended to trace soobin’s cheek with it, but knowing it was useless. He dropped his hand back down and continued to stare deep into soobin’s eyes. He didn't argue with soobin, he didn't have to. </p><p>"There is no reason for you to worry," soobin continued like nothing happened. "I trust you the most, and I've always felt the most comfortable with only you." He moved his hand to rest next to yeonjun’s on the bed, tracing the outline of it. </p><p>Soobin couldn't help but notice that their hands would fit together perfectly, if only they could connect them, palm to palm, fingers intertwined. </p><p>"I'm going to be honest with you hyung. I love taehyun, as a friend. He's so adorable and stubborn. We both share a love for music. He's going to be enrolling in the same university next year, after he graduates from high school. He will be a friend I can rely on and look forward to seeing outside of my home. But…" </p><p>Yeonjun continued to say nothing, allowing soobin to open up to him. </p><p>"But you will always be more precious to me above anyone else. You are the best part of my day. I have never been more happy coming home in my entire life, and that's because I know you will be here to welcome me back." </p><p>Yeonjun felt his face flush, but this time he didn't try to hide it. He couldn't take his eyes off of soobin, and by now soobin must know how he feels. Soobin knows him better than anyone else does. Better than anyone else ever did, even when he was alive. Soobin could read his face like a book, and right now yeonjun was showing everything, unable to mask his emotions. He glanced down unconsciously to soobin's lips, his intentions clear as day. Soobin’s eyes darkened, and a look yeonjun has never seen before appeared in his features. </p><p>It was a look of want, a look of possession, and it made yeonjun feel giddy. </p><p>He needed to turn this situation around fast. They both know how this story will end, and in order to spare them both a world of tragedy and heartbreak, yeonjun will make sure whatever this spark is between them gets put out immediately. </p><p>"Don't feel so bad, soobinnie," he said with a light voice, changing the topic immediately. He cleared his throat, hoping the lust wouldn't be apparent in it. "We will get you through this disaster. That kid that bullies you can go fuck himself. I'll help you this entire week with your project. Between the two of us, we can come up with something better. How does that sound? Hmm? I may not look like it, but I used to be brilliant with music theories-" </p><p>He cut his sentence off again, the headache coming back tenfold this time. He’s not stupid. He knows that whenever he remembers something from his time being alive, his head will start to hurt. </p><p>Apparently soobin now knows it too. </p><p>Thankfully, soobin didn't question him about it, and sniffled, nodding his head at yeonjun’s offer to help. </p><p>"Ok, thank you hyung. You don't have to help you know, but I appreciate the offer." </p><p>Yeonjun ignored the pain in his head and smiled. "anything for my soobinnie," he giggled. "Now take a nap. You need it. When you wake up I'll have dinner ready for you." </p><p>Soobin nodded again, closing his eyes. He settled his body deeper into the mattress, pulling the comforter closer to his chin. </p><p>"Can you stay, hyung? Until I fall asleep?" He whispered to the ghost. </p><p>Yeonjun blinked at him, his eyes watering a little bit. If he wasn't already dead he would have died from his heart bursting. </p><p>"Yeah," he promised. "I'll always stay." </p><p>For as long as he's able to.</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin has been extremely busy the next few days. Between the increasing cold weather, his classes piling up in preparation for finals, his extra long shifts at the cafe, and his all-nighters with yeonjun trying to get his project finished, it was only inevitable that he started to get sick. Probably from stress, lack of sleep, and anxiety among other things. </p><p>Yeonjun was the first to notice. Of course he was. He loved soobin more than anything, and at the first sign of distress, he made it a point to say something. </p><p>"Soobinnie, you look a bit pale. Are you feeling alright?" He asked while laying on his stomach across the couch, flipping through pages of references. </p><p>"Mm'fine hyung. Just a headache is all," soobin said while typing on his laptop. He was almost finished with the revised project. In fact, he admits that this version is way better than his other version, thanks to yeonjun's help. </p><p>Yeonjun looked up, his face furrowed into his adorable pout. "Maybe you should go to bed early tonight. I think we got enough done for you to take a night's rest." </p><p>Soobin shook his head. "Can't hyung. Once my head hits the pillow, I'll never get back up," he chuckled weakly. </p><p>Yeonjun sighed. Okay fair enough. He remembers doing the same when he was at university-</p><p>There goes his head again. Damn, it was getting more and more annoying, but he ignored it. </p><p>He decided to let it go, not bothering soobin about his health again... Until the day after soobin turned in his project. </p><p>Maybe it was from all the stress building up and then finally coming out. Or maybe it was just progressively getting worse and soobin was good at hiding it from others. Either way, yeonjun can't say he didn't see this coming.</p><p>Soobin has a fever, and a bad one at that. </p><p>He was so delirious, it took major coaxing from yeonjun to get him back into bed and skip his classes for the day. Yeonjun was in no-nonsense mode, trying to take care of soobin the best he could considering his appearance. </p><p>It was 5:53 in the morning, and yeonjun brought soobin some tea with honey for his throat and some medicine for the fever. He tucked soobin in, and hurried to get a cool cloth for his forehead. He won't be able to touch, pick up, and move things around for long, so he tried to do as much as possible as quickly as possible. </p><p>Once he got soobin settled and sleeping, he bit his lips, his mind racing. </p><p>Soobin will need help again in a few hours. He was already sweating and flushed. His sheets will need to be changed, along with a fresh pair of pajamas. His cool cloth will need to be refreshed, and maybe something to eat for lunch, like soup. </p><p>Yeonjun can't do any of that until tonight around 6pm. That was too long to wait. </p><p>Soobin needs help, and it has to be from someone alive. </p><p>It breaks yeonjun’s heart to have to admit this, but what soobin needs is a friend that wasn't yeonjun. </p><p>Making his mind up, he snatched soobin’s phone from the dresser next to him and opened it up, scrolling to the contacts section. Soobin never locks his phone around yeonjun, that's how much trust they have in each other. He tapped on a name, and opened up a chat.</p><p>And then he texted taehyun, pretending to be soobin. </p><p>***</p><p>"Are you sure you're alright now, hyung? I could stay the night?" Taehyun said, grabbing his shoes and getting ready to go home for the night. It was almost sunset, and taehyun had been over all day taking care of soobin. </p><p>'Soobin' texted him earlier, saying he was extremely sick and might need some help. It surprised the hell out of soobin when taehyun just walked into his apartment around 9 am, bags of stuff from the store in his hands. </p><p>Taehyun questioned him on why his door was unlocked, but soobin just played it off as him being too sick to remember to lock it up. Which then led to taehyun lecturing him on the importance of safety. </p><p>But he immediately had an idea on why his apartment door was conveniently unlocked for taehyun before he arrived, and it had something to do with a certain spirit who has been hiding and refusing to show himself all day. </p><p>Soobin was pretty out of it most of the morning, but then the medicine and soup taehyun brought over helped him feel better. Also the eight hours of sleep he got. </p><p>Now soobin’s fever was down, and his appetite slightly back, and he wasn't as delirious as he was early this morning, so he walked taehyun to the door. </p><p>"I will be fine, thanks taehyunnie," he smiled, showing his dimples to the younger boy and reaching out to ruffle taehyun's blonde hair. Taehyun made a face, fixing his hair back to the way it was. </p><p>"Whatever, just call if you need anything else. And don't forget to lock the door this time! See you hyung!" He said, waving goodbye. Then he was out the door and the apartment locked up for the night. </p><p>It was silent for several beats while soobin stood there in the hallway near the entrance. </p><p>"Ok you can come out now hyung," soobin called softly. </p><p>He waited a few more seconds before finally catching movement near his left. He turned and watched as yeonjun appeared. They just stared at each other, neither one of them saying anything. Until soobin broke the silence and spoke up.</p><p>"Why did you hide from me the entire day?" He asked softly. Soobin likes it when yeonjun is by his side whenever he wakes up, and today he didn't get that. Probably because taehyun was over, but still...soobin was highly upset about it.  </p><p>"You needed a friend that could take care of you, and I would have been useless. I'm not needed," yeonjun said quietly, looking down and refusing to meet soobin’s eyes. </p><p>Soobin furrowed his brows at that, not liking the way yeonjun was talking about himself again. He thought they were past this. </p><p>Apparently not.</p><p>"You aren't useless hyung. Stop saying that," he said a little louder, getting irritated. He would like to blame his crappy mood on his cold, but he knew it wasn't that simple. </p><p>Yeonjun decided to go on the attack. He needs to nip this in the bud once and for all. His next words came out harsher than he would like, but he supposes it would be more impactful this way. </p><p>With as much strength as he could muster, he glanced up and sternly stared at soobin. </p><p>"Soobin, you have to stop being so delusional. I'm a ghost for heaven's sake. It's time you stop being in denial and accept the fact that I'm not <em> real. </em> What we have is not real, and it never will be. I'm not good for you, and whatever is happening right now, it isn't good for you either." </p><p>Yeonjun didn't mean any of it, he was just saying it because he believed it would be the right thing to do. He wasn't that great of a liar, and especially not to soobin. Soobin knows him more than anyone else, after all. He should have known the other boy wouldn't fall for it. </p><p>Soobin crowded yeonjun, backing the spirit up against the wall in the hallway. Yeonjun looked up at soobin with wide eyes, just now realizing how much taller and bigger soobin really was compared to him. Soobin is always a gentle soul, never using his height or build to his advantage. People around him never feel intimidated or overpowered. But right now, this is different. Yeonjun has never seen this side of soobin, and it was starting to make him feel tingly all over. He's never felt so small in his entire life, he was always taller than everybody else he knew and went to school with. </p><p>Oddly enough, he likes the fact that soobin could hover over him so easily like this. It gives him a sense of safety and comfort, almost as if soobin could shield him from all the bad things in the world. </p><p>Soobin slammed a hand on the wall near yeonjun’s head, making the ghost flinch slightly at the abrupt movement. Then he leaned in closer to yeonjun, silently daring the spirit to try and escape. </p><p>"I've had enough of you deciding what is and isn't good for me lately," soobin said with a deathly calm voice. </p><p>"I'm just saying that-" yeonjun squeaked out quietly. </p><p>"No. You are just afraid of getting hurt," soobin interrupted him. His eyes were serious and intense, and yeonjun’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. He swears he could almost feel the heat seeping from soobin’s body being so close. </p><p>"Hurt from what?" Yeonjun played dumb, licking his lips and trying not to fidget nervously. His stomach was in an uproar of flutters. </p><p>"From this, between us," soobin whispered. He leaned his head down and angled it slightly, almost as if he was going to kiss yeonjun. </p><p>Yeonjun never used to be bothered by the fact that he was dead. He accepted his fate in stride and quite maturely. But now...now he wishes more than anything else that he was alive. He wishes he could tilt his chin up and meet soobin’s lips eagerly, he wishes he could wrap his arms around soobin's neck and sift his fingers through his dark hair. He wants soobin to push him roughly against the wall, their bodies pressed tightly together. </p><p>Yeonjun swallowed down his desires, not moving his eyes away from soobin’s. He knows soobin could tell what he was thinking, because soobin was thinking the same thing, but neither one of them said anything about it.   </p><p>Soobin moved his hand from the wall and closer, tracing the outline of yeonjun's arm hanging at his side, going up, up, up until he made it to his collarbone, and then eventually to his lips. </p><p>Yeonjun wanted to sob, his breath coming out in tiny gasps. His eyes stung slightly, but he refused to give in to his emotions. </p><p>Not that he could help it. Not when it's strong emotions for soobin that he's feeling. </p><p>Soobin moved his hand, and placed it in mid-air, right where yeonjun’s cheek was, and he cupped it. There was no sensation there, they both knew it. But yeonjun swears he could almost feel soobin’s warm hand against his skin, almost as if the tiny particles of energy between the two were so compatible together, recognizing each other despite there being no solid or physical material. </p><p>"You love me, don't you?" Soobin asked the obvious question. His voice was like velvet, coaxing a reaction out of yeonjun, sending sparks down his spine. </p><p>Yeonjun's eyes watered while he stared into soobin’s darker ones. His bottom lip quivered and he nodded. </p><p>Soobin continued on.</p><p>"And you know that I love you too, right?" He asked. </p><p>Yeonjun swallowed the lump in his throat, his voice failing him. He nodded at soobin’s question, his heart aching so much. </p><p>Soobin stepped even closer so that there was no more space between their faces. He gently pressed his other hand, the one that wasn't holding yeonjun’s cheek, onto the wall near yeonjuns head, blocking the complete view of the apartment behind them. All yeonjun could see was soobin and nothing else. It was driving him mad. </p><p>"And you know that this will probably end badly, right?" Soobin whispered the words quietly. </p><p>Finally, yeonjun’s tears fell from his lashes, first one and then another. He felt like his chest just got crushed with the question, a sob wanting to escape his throat. </p><p>Still, he nodded his head. </p><p>Soobin smiled sadly at yeonjun, his own eyes turning glassy and his true feelings showing through. </p><p>"Good. Me too," he still whispered. "But even so, I still want to be with you." </p><p>Yeonjun sniffled, his lips also smiling sadly. </p><p>"Will you continue to stay with me, by my side?" Soobin asked him, desperation in his eyes. </p><p>
  
</p><p>The sun was finally setting, the sky a gentle blue color. But neither of them noticed. </p><p>The clock on soobin’s wall in the kitchen moved it's second hand, continuing to tick closer to the next hour. </p><p>
  <em> 5:53 pm. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yeonjun nuzzled his cheek into soobin’s hand, finally feeling the warmth of the other and soaking up the sensation as much as he could. </p><p>Soobin didn't dare move his hand away, didn't dare breathe as they both stood there in the darkening apartment.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>"Always," yeonjun whispered, answering soobin's question from a moment before. </p><p>***</p><p>Several days went by after they both sort of confessed. The tension between them both cooled and heated up at the same time. </p><p>There were no longer any hard feelings between the two, but there was also a desperate need to be together as much as possible. </p><p>Yeonjun now sleeps next to soobin on his bed, the two staring at each other with so much want and need, until finally soobin falls asleep, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. </p><p>Of course yeonjun falls asleep too, but honestly, he doesn't know where he goes while he's unconscious. He doesn't dream, and it's not like he has a body that needs to rejuvenate during the dark hours of the night like a normal person. One second he closes his eyes, the next he opens them and is exactly where he was, the only difference is that time passed by quickly. </p><p>He panics sometimes, afraid that when he wakes up he will be somewhere else, somewhere far from soobin. But each time the morning comes, he is continuously proven wrong, breathing out a sigh of relief when he sees the younger boy tangled in his blankets and letting out deep and slow breaths right there next to him. </p><p>Soobin is beautiful in his eyes. </p><p>He always has been. Ever since the day he first set eyes on him from long ago. </p><p>How could nobody else notice this perfect and precious soul? Soobin was like the gentle blue of the sky that yeonjun loved so much. </p><p>Yeonjun continued to face soobin while he slept, watching as the shadows of the night sky shifted into a calming blue tint that colored the entire bedroom. </p><p>He smiled. </p><p>This is the happiest he has ever been in his entire life. </p><p>But he supposes this wasn't a surprise to him, since seeing soobin has always been his favorite time of day. </p><p>***</p><p>"Hey taehyun, do you believe in ghosts?" Soobin asked while wiping down the countertops to the cafe. Taehyun paused in his task of restocking the pastries in the glass case under the counter, blinking up at soobin. </p><p>"No," he said bluntly, choosing to continue to finish his job. </p><p>Soobin rolled his eyes and let out a huff. "No seriously, I wanna know what you think," he pressed further. </p><p>Taehyun brushed his hands on his apron and stood up straight, closing the glass case and facing soobin with a blank stare. </p><p>Normally this would unsettle people around taehyun, but soobin wasn't like most people. He knew that taehyun was just lost in thought, thinking deeply about what soobin asked him. Soobin understood that taehyun liked to think carefully about his choice of words before saying them out loud. It somehow made him sound poetic to soobin. </p><p>Finally he spoke. </p><p>"I don't know if I necessarily believe in ghosts or spirits. But I do believe in energy. Every single atom and molecule in this universe is made up of energy. How we manifest this energy is beyond my knowledge. Every person has a right to their beliefs. If they want to believe that a person's energy could become a spirit, then that is their choice." </p><p>Soobin kind of deflated at that. He doesn't know what he was expecting taehyun to say, in fact he has no idea why he even asked this question in the first place, but he guesses it has something to do with wanting to share his joy and happiness that he found in yeonjun with someone else. He knows that he will be called crazy and schizophrenic if he ever told another soul about yeonjun, but still, he would like to believe that at least taehyun wouldn't think so. </p><p>Right?</p><p>Sensing soobin’s shift in mood, taehyun continued, a small and soft smile taking form on his lips. </p><p>"I might not know if ghosts exist, but I would like to believe it's a beautiful thing if they do." </p><p>Soobin did feel a bit better after he said that, and taehyun wasn't the type of person to make fun or tease people, but he still didn't think it would be a good idea to tell him about yeonjun. </p><p>They were quiet for another hour while they worked through lunch, making small chit chat here and there. That's something soobin can appreciate about taehyun. He was a calming presence next to him. He always knew when to be playful and when to take a step back and give others space. </p><p>Not that soobin needed any space. Soobin was affectionate and welcoming to everyone. He swears it's because he didn't have much physical affection growing up, but to be honest, it's probably just in his nature to be accepting of everyone he considers close. </p><p>Soobin spoke up, asking taehyun another ridiculous (but not really) question. </p><p>"Hey taehyun?" </p><p>Taehyun hummed, refilling the coffee beans in the jars by the coffee maker. </p><p>"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?" Soobin asked abruptly. He turned when he heard a clatter and a few beans spill out across the smooth countertop. </p><p>He could see the side of taehyun's face, his cheeks flushed and the tips of his ears turning red. Taehyun wasn't one to lie, so he chose not to answer instead, which was a fruitless attempt because now soobin was interested.</p><p>"Oh? What's this?" He called out, coming closer and leaning down to get a better view of taehyun's face. "Does my taehyunnie like someone?" </p><p>"N-no," taehyun muttered, cleaning up his mess hastily. "Shut up," he grumbled. </p><p>"It's me, isn't it? Could you have fallen for my amazing charms?" Soobin poked taehyun's cheek lightly, posing to look cool.</p><p>Taehyun glared up at soobin, shoving him out of the way so he could throw away the loose beans. </p><p>"No, it's not you. And he is way more charming than you and your dorky face," taehyun sniffed. </p><p>Soobin was too excited to get offended. "Oh my God, tell meeee who is itttt." </p><p>Taehyun sighed, his cheeks still slightly flushed by the mention of his crush. "He's gorgeous, hyung. He's a year ahead of me and used to go to my high school. Now he's a freshman in university, like you." </p><p>Soobin gasped. "Do I know him?" </p><p>Taehyun shook his head. "I don't think so, but I'm not telling you who it is. You will just embarrass me. Plus, I doubt he would ever feel the same way about me." </p><p>Soobin frowned, not liking the hopeless look on taehyun’s face. "C'mon taehyunnie. Why do you think that?" </p><p>Taehyun shrugged, playing nonchalance. "Because if you met him you would know we are like polar opposites. He's bubbly, sociable, full of emotion, everyone loves him. I'm well...not." </p><p>Soobin pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just because he's different than you doesn't mean he can't love you. I mean, it works both ways. You like him because of his personality, so why can't he like you because of yours?" </p><p>Taehyun hummed, ending the small argument and thinking about what soobin said. Soobin had a point, and he didn't know what to say to that. </p><p>To lighten the mood, soobin smirked at taehyun. "Still, I think I'm the much better option than him- ow!" He laughed, dodging as taehyun tried to swat him with a dishtowel again. </p><p>Taehyun giggled, and it was the prettiest sound soobin heard coming from the younger and more reserved boy. </p><p>***</p><p>It has become a common thing for soobin to have deep and meaningful conversations with taehyun while they work. The other boy gives him perspectives on things he never thought about before. </p><p>He tries to be subtle, he really does, but nothing gets by taehyun. </p><p>"Hey taehyun? Why do you think a ghost would linger here in our world?" Soobin asks one day.</p><p>Taehyun sighed, turning to look at soobin with a grumpy face. "Why the sudden interest in ghosts lately?" </p><p>Soobin spluttered, unsure of what to say. That he was in love with a ghost that has no memories? That he wants to live with yeonjun by his side, but doesn't know why yeonjun can't leave the apartment? </p><p>Yeah, like that was going to happen. </p><p>Soobin knows yeonjun is unable to leave the four walls of his apartment, and he also knows he isn't going to be living there his entire life, so he's been secretly researching a way to...well, take yeonjun with him wherever he goes. </p><p>"Uh, well, you know..I'm a literature major and I like writing lyrics and poetry, so, I'm just expanding my knowledge on stuff?" He cringed at his own dumb excuse, knowing taehyun wasn't going to buy it. </p><p>Luckily, taehyun's best friend from highschool was hanging out with them today at the cafe, and he jumped into the conversation, saving soobin from having to crash and burn further. </p><p>"Maybe the ghost has some unfinished business to take care of?" Hueningkai suggested, swirling his straw around in his sparkling drink. </p><p>Soobin was thankful for hueningkai. He was a bright boy, and just goes with the flow regardless of what's going on around him. He didn't even think twice about why soobin was asking, just blurting out whatever he thought. </p><p>Soobin can appreciate people like hueningkai. They have no brain to mouth filter, which makes them one of the most honest to be around. They always say what they think. </p><p>"Unfinished business like what?" Taehyun asked, getting into the conversation despite being annoyed a second ago. </p><p>Hyuka shrugged. "Dunno, but it's common for all the scary shows to say that a ghost can't move on to the afterlife if they have unfinished business here in this world. C'mon tyun, this is general knowledge." </p><p>Soobin has already thought of that before, back when he first met yeonjun. But yeonjun doesn't have any memory of his life before he died, so that complicates things a bit.</p><p>Soobin decided, what the hell, why not ask?</p><p>"Ok but what if the ghost can't remember what that unfinished business was? Then what?" He counterargued with hyuka. </p><p>Hyuka really thought about that. "Well, I guess they just forever roam around here for eternity, never able to move on." </p><p>Soobin frowned. </p><p>"That's sad," taehyun muttered, going to the sink to clean out the blenders. </p><p>"Or!" Hyuka got excited. "You could try and find out stuff about the ghost while he was alive, and maybe something would jog it's memory? I saw a show once where a psychic communicated with a ghost and helped it-"</p><p>Hyukas words became background noise as soobin really thought about what he said. He hates to admit it, but he never once tried to find out where yeonjun came from in the three months they have been living together. He didn't see a need to. It's not like yeonjun is desperate to remember what happened to him, not that soobin can blame him. That would be kind of triggering to some people if they died a horrific death. And yeonjun always seemed to get a really bad headache whenever he <em> does </em> remember something from his past, and soobin wouldn't want to cause him pain, so he never pushed and never asked specific questions about what yeonjun was like when he was alive. He just gratefully takes what he can get whenever yeonjun slips and says something personal. </p><p>Their relationship was complicated. It wasn't a normal horror story you see in the movies or books. Their daily life was...normal, minus yeonjun being a spirit and all. </p><p>But what if one day yeonjun decides he wants to move on? What if he wants to leave soobin behind? </p><p>The thought made soobin sad, but at the same time he would never force yeonjun against his will. What kind of person would he be if he wished for someone to never move on to whatever comes next after death? </p><p>Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he continued his day with renewed vigor.</p><p>He will cherish every second he gets to spend with yeonjun. </p><p>***</p><p>Soobin shot awake in his bed, forcing his eyes to adjust to the dark room. He stared at the movement currently in his closet, immediately knowing where the noise that woke him was coming from. </p><p>Or rather, <em> who </em> it was coming from. </p><p>"Can you please quiet down? I'm trying to sleep!" Soobin glared at yeonjun. </p><p>The ghost froze in his place, halfway from picking up some of soobin’s clothes from his closet. </p><p>"Some of your wardrobe is atrocious. I'm doing you a favor." </p><p>"At almost 6 in the morning?!" </p><p>"This is a fashion crisis," yeonjun pouted cutely. </p><p>"Arggghgggg!" Soobin grumbled, throwing his comforter over his head. </p><p>Yeonjun giggled, tossing away some of the older tshirts that really should be rags by now. He organized the rest of soobins long sleeved shirts and sweaters, getting them all ready for soobin to wear. It was getting much colder out now, and he knows soobin freezes up easily. </p><p>He paused in his folding, frowning down at the clothes. </p><p>"Hey soobinnie?" He called out to the huge lump of blankets on the bed. He got a grunt in response. </p><p>"Where are the rest of your sweaters?" He asked, chuckling at how grouchy soobin was first thing in the morning. </p><p>"They should all be there," soobin mumbled half asleep. </p><p>Yeonjun shook his head. "No you definitely had way more than this. You always used to wear them everyday," he said without realizing.</p><p>Soobin was already falling asleep, only grunting out his argument weakly. Yeonjun sighed, realizing he was going to get nowhere with him, and opted to head to the kitchen and make him some tea to warm him up. </p><p>He did, however, mercilessly throw away the ratty old shirts soobin kept in his drawers. The other boy was either too lazy or too cheap to get some more. Yeonjun is going to have to nag at him to splurge a little and buy more clothes. </p><p>***</p><p>The days were normal like any other, only something seemed different to soobin. </p><p>Yeonjun has been a little...off lately. </p><p>Soobin has caught yeonjun spacing out more and more, and he was growing worried. </p><p>Sometimes, when he comes home, yeonjun would just be sitting on the couch, staring off into space and barely acknowledging soobin’s presence. It takes several calls of his name to get yeonjun’s attention and snap him out of it. </p><p>Sometimes, soobin can swear he sees yeonjun looking a little more translucent every now then. At first he thought it was just his imagination, but no, yeonjun was definitely fading in and out.</p><p>On top of that, yeonjun’s headaches were becoming more frequent, and he sleeps a lot more than he used to when they first met.</p><p>To put it simply: soobin was freaking out. </p><p>He doesn't know what this means, and he doesn't know how to fix it. </p><p>Then there was the thought….<em> should </em> he fix it? What if this is yeonjun’s way of finally returning to where he needs to go? </p><p>Soobin refused to think like that, instead ignoring the problem with the hope that it will just go away all on its own. </p><p>
  
</p><p>But when has soobin’s life ever been an easy one?</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin sighed as he left the apartment quietly, not wanting to wake up yeonjun. The ghost was sleeping on the couch, saying he needed a nap from the long day he had. </p><p>It was more of a joke really, since yeonjun does next to nothing all day long while soobin is gone, but it still left an uneasy and nauseous feeling in the pit of soobin’s stomach seeing yeonjun so tired and drained. </p><p>Today he decided to take on an extra shift until late, needing extra cash now that it was cold outside. Heating up the apartment, even at the bare minimum, was crazy expensive. </p><p>___</p><p>A few hours later, soobin arrived at the entrance of the apartment building, seeing his elderly landlord struggling in carrying a hefty box outside. Being the polite person that he was, he offered to carry it for her. </p><p>“Oh, thank you young man, that would be great. I was just taking it out to the trash,” she said. </p><p>Soobin nodded, and followed her around the building. As he approached the trash cans, he glanced down at the box in his arms. </p><p>And his body immediately went cold, his eyes reading the name scrawled in marker across the top of the cardboard in disbelief and panic. </p><p>
  <em> Choi Yeonjun </em>
</p><p>He stopped abruptly in his spot, watching the elderly woman walk ahead of him a few paces. He cleared his throat, trying to sound normal even though he was anything but normal right now. </p><p>“M-Ma’am?” he called out. She turned and hummed in acknowledgement, taking in his face and confusion starting to appear on hers. </p><p>Apparently he wasn't as good at hiding his panic as he thought.</p><p>“Where d-did you get this box?” he asked. He needs to know, <em> has </em> to know. </p><p>The landlord’s face then cleared, understanding dawning on her. She seemed to think soobin was just curious about the box. </p><p>“Oh that? It used to belong to the boy that lived in your apartment before you came along.”</p><p>Soobin’s eyes watered, but he blinked it away quickly. </p><p>“Oh? Why do you have it? Did the kid forget to throw away his trash?” soobin tried to joke and act nonchalant, but the humor was lost on his tongue. </p><p>The landlord sighed, shaking her head sadly. “No, i'm afraid it isn't a case of just a punk kid not properly moving out. It would seem that boy had something tragic happen to him.”</p><p>“Could...could you tell me about it?” soobin whispered. </p><p>“I don't know much, but apparently the boy got into some kind of accident. He was taken to the hospital for a few weeks, and I never found out what exactly happened to him. The next thing i knew, his family was showing up and cleaning out the entire place, cancelling his lease. It was kind of pathetic if you asked me,” she spat. “They didn't even care about what happened to him, only making sure their greedy little fingers snatched anything of value that was his.”</p><p>Soobin didn't say anything. He could barely process the words that were leaving her mouth. He held his breath until she finished. </p><p>“When I went into the apartment to clean up and get it ready to lease again, I found a bunch of random useless stuff of the boy’s. So i boxed it up with his name on it, and stored it in the basement in case he ever came back for it. But it's been six months now, and i have to make room for other storage, so i decided it was time to clean out the place.”</p><p>Soobin swallowed the lump in his throat. </p><p>“C-can i keep it instead? I think I might know this person,” he whispered. </p><p>The landlord’s face brightened up at that. “Oh?! Do you? Well certainly then, please give it back to him. He was such a nice and handsome boy,” she sighed. “Always helped me out whenever i needed it. You don't find boys like that too often these days,” she muttered, turning to head back into the building. She then must have realized what she said because she turned back to soobin, smiling a cheeky smile at him like a grandmother would to her grandson. “Not that you aren’t nice either dear. I'm glad i found a proper replacement for his apartment. You both are so lovely.” </p><p>“Me too. Im glad you did too,” he whispered in the cold air. She didnt hear him as she hurried back inside to escape the cold. </p><p>
  
</p><p>For some reason, soobin felt like something was concluding. Like a storybook reaching it’s ending. </p><p>And he was hit with a sudden wave of sorrow.</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin needed to show yeonjun the box of items the landlord gave to him. It was the right thing to do. If this really belonged to yeonjun when he was alive, then yeonjun deserves to see it.</p><p>However, yeonjun was still sleeping on the couch, fading in and out, and soobin was beyond worried. He's been sleeping more and more, to the point that soobin has come to only one conclusion:</p><p>He was losing him.</p><p>He doesn't know how many more days they have together, or even hours, but it wasn't many. </p><p>So soobin waited. And waited. And waited. </p><p>Still yeonjun did not wake up. </p><p>Soobin panicked, his nerves being too much for him to be able to fall asleep the entire night. He sat there against the bottom base of the couch, just staring off into the window and letting his thoughts swirl chaotically around in his mind.</p><p>He wouldn't cry. He promised himself he wouldn't cry.</p><p>Who knows, maybe yeonjun was just hibernating like a bear or something and all of this is a fluke. Or maybe this was normal for ghosts. </p><p>Either way, he will stay by yeonjun's side until he wakes up. </p><p>And that's what he did, as night slowly turned into day. </p><p>***</p><p>It was still dark outside when yeonjun finally started to waken. </p><p>Soobin’s eyes were glassy and dry, and he snapped out of his daze when he heard the cute mumbles coming from yeonjun’s pouty lips. </p><p>"Hmm, soobinnie? What are you doing sitting here in the dark?" Yeonjun asked, his voice husky and deep from sleep. </p><p>Soobin spun around on the floor, facing yeonjun who was now sitting up on the couch.</p><p>"How are you feeling hyung?" </p><p>Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. </p><p>"Fine, just a bit tired," he said. "What's going on? What time is it?" </p><p>"Almost morning," soobin answered him. "You've been sleeping a while. I was going to show something to you yesterday," he told yeonjun, trying to make his voice sound normal. </p><p>"Mmm, sorry. I didn't mean to sleep so long," yeonjun yawned, stretching his arms up over his head, making his white t-shirt he was wearing ride up a bit, exposing his tummy. </p><p>Soobin gulped, wanting so badly to touch yeonjun right now. Brush his fingers up under his shirt and kiss him senseless all over. Reaffirm that everything is alright. </p><p>But he can't do that. </p><p>"The landlord gave me this box of stuff yesterday. She was going to throw it out, but I offered to take it instead." </p><p>Yeonjun was listening, nodding along to what soobin was saying. "ok, but why did you take a box of junk?" </p><p>Soobin licked his lips, his hands getting nervous and sweaty. "Because she told me something interesting." He stared into yeonjun's eyes for a moment before telling him what he found out.</p><p>"She said that this box belonged to the previous owner of this apartment. A university student named Choi Yeonjun."</p><p>Yeonjun sucked in a breath, not saying anything. A dull ache started to take form in the back of his head, but he ignored it. </p><p>"He apparently got into a bad accident, she wasn't sure of the details, and he was hospitalized. She never knew what became of him, and after the family cleaned out his apartment, this small box of items was all that was left behind. It would seem that his family had no use or considered these things of no value to them. She waited for the original owner to come back for it. She held onto it just in case, but it's been 6 months since this happened, and so she figured it was time to get rid of it." </p><p>Yeonjun remained quiet, his heart hammering in his chest. </p><p>"I didn't open it," soobin whispered. "I wanted to wait for you. To confirm whether this is truly yours or not." </p><p>Yeonjun let out the shaky breath he was holding. </p><p>"Do you want to open it together?" Soobin asked. </p><p>Yeonjun nodded weakly. He let soobin take a hold of the box and begin to fold back the flaps of cardboard. </p><p>Nothing extraordinary happened when he opened the box, and so he carefully peeked inside. </p><p>It was just….normal stuff.</p><p>A few dance metals, an old set of watercolor paints, some used brushes, a pair of sunglasses, chapstick, a couple of notebooks, batteries, rubber bands, a book of poems, and what appears to be a journal. </p><p>Soobin shifted the stuff around, pulling them out one by one and placing them next to him on the floor. </p><p>He finally got to the book of poems, and his face brightened up. </p><p>"Oh! I used to love reading this one. It had some pretty awesome poems in it," soobin said, finally looking up at yeonjun. His smile dropped immediately after seeing the condition the other boy was in. </p><p>Yeonjun was hyperventilating, his eyes watering as he stared at the book in soobin’s hands, and the other items scattered on the floor. </p><p>"Hyung, are you okay?" Soobin asked, his growing anxiety returning. This reaction was not what he expected. Yeonjun looks like he's in pain and it made his stomach twist with worry.</p><p>"You used to read this every time you had the night shift, standing behind the counter at the cafe while waiting for the place to close," yeonjun said with a shaky voice. </p><p>Soobin's eyes widened. He was absolutely positive he never said that to yeonjun before. This was a book he read back in his final year of high school long before he met yeonjun. </p><p>"I wanted to know what it was about, why you liked it so much, so I bought my own copy. I only got a few pages in though." He gave soobin a watery smile. "I never understood poetry that much, but because you loved it I wanted to try. Sorry, but it turns out I couldn't really get into it, I'm more of an active person. It's a shame because I was hoping we could have something like that in common so that I could talk to you about it." </p><p>Soobin's hands dropped the book on the ground as he stared at yeonjun deeply. "Yeonjun, what are you saying?" </p><p>Still, yeonjun continued. </p><p>"I never loved reading books or poetry as much as you, but I loved watching you enjoy it. Day after day, you either had your nose in some type of book, or you were writing something down in one of those tattered notebooks of yours. Like I said, I'm more of an active person. I like to keep moving, never staying still for a moment." </p><p>Yeonjun sniffled, looking down at the watercolor paints and old brushes. He pointed to the journal that was still in the box. </p><p>"I-" he took a deep breath, trying to get his words out clearly. "I didn't like writing or poetry, but I loved to paint. So I...made you that. It was a stupid idea, really, but I wanted to give you something I made with my own two hands, not something generic or store bought." </p><p>Soobin slowly looked down at the box, reaching forward to pick it up. While moving around, he accidentally knocked into his phone, the lock screen lighting up. The bright numbers glared back at him in the dark living room.</p><p>
  <em> 5:50 am </em>
</p><p>He held the journal carefully in his hands, finally opening it.</p><p>It was blank. The pages were all brand new and empty. </p><p>"There's nothing written in here," soobin said, looking back up at yeonjun in confusion. </p><p>"I know," yeonjun confirmed without needing to look at it. "That was a gift I made for you. The pages used to be white, like all journals you would get from a craft store. I hated the white pages; ordinary and heartless. So I hand painted each and every single page, decorating it in watercolor. Because that's what you always meant to me. You were just full of color, and so beautiful, and I wanted to express that in the only way I knew how. I wanted to give you something that had a little piece of me in it, but at the same time let you have the freedom to do whatever you liked to it." </p><p>
  <em> 5:51 am </em>
</p><p>Soobin was at a loss for words. He looked back down at the journal and flipped through the pages once more. He couldn't see much in the dim light, but he became choked up. </p><p>"This is…" he started to say. </p><p>"Lame? Silly? Childish? I already know, that's why it took me forever to give it to you. I was going to confess to you with it, maybe write a cheesy pickup line or old-fashioned note on the first page. In the end, I never could." </p><p>"This is...the most beautiful and thoughtful gift I have ever received," soobin said, his voice cracking and his eyes starting to burn. "I love it with all my heart." </p><p>Yeonjun smiled, flushing slightly at the sincerity on soobin’s face. He kind of regrets not giving it sooner to the boy he fell in love with almost a year ago. </p><p>
  <em> 5:52 am </em>
</p><p>Yeonjun glanced up at the window, his smile turning into one of sadness and something else. </p><p>It was that something else that soobin could finally put a word to.</p><p>Yeonjun had a smile of <em> longing. </em> A smile that showed he knows things aren't going to turn out the way they wanted them to. </p><p>Soobin refused to look out the window. He refused to acknowledge the subtle signs of dawn that are beginning to show behind him. </p><p>"My favorite time of day is approaching," yeonjun whispered, still looking over soobin’s shoulder to the early morning sky.</p><p>Soobin didn't say anything, his grip on the empty journal tightening in his hands. A dreadful feeling was taking hold in his heart right now. </p><p>"You want to know why I love that color blue the most?" Yeonjun asked him. But he didn't wait for a reply, answering it himself right away. "It reminds me of your sky blue sweater you always wore. It was my favorite on you." </p><p>Soobin sucked in a breath, his heart beating rapidly and his mind racing with tons of thoughts. </p><p>He hasn't worn that sweater since right before he ended high school. He threw that sweater away long ago. How long has yeonjun been there, right in front of him? </p><p>"I loved walking by and seeing you sit at the white metal tables outside the cafe during your break. You were always writing something down in your torn up notebook, a cute look of concentration on your face. I just wanted…" </p><p>Soobin swallowed, even though his throat was dry. "You wanted?" He prompted yeonjun, needing him to desperately finish his sentence. </p><p>Yeonjun then looked into his eyes, the emotions on his face undeniable. It was soft, and sad, and full of love. Like soobin was his whole world. </p><p>Nobody has ever looked at soobin like that before. Nobody has ever cared as much as yeonjun has.</p><p>Soobin wants to be selfish. He wants this all for himself. He wants to be greedy and have yeonjun stay by his side, just like this. </p><p>"I just wanted to go over to you, and hug you. Curl up in your lap and have you wrap your arms around me. You looked so warm and I craved that so much. I never knew what it was like to feel so at home around someone, until I met you." </p><p>
  <em> 5:53 am </em>
</p><p>Yeonjun's eyes were starting to water a bit, the changing sky reflecting in them from behind soobin. </p><p>Yeonjun bent forward and lovingly touched the journal, his body starting to fade. </p><p>Soobin also leaned in, needing to be close to yeonjun. Fear was coursing through his veins now, his mind telling him what his heart won't admit.</p><p>Yeonjun was leaving him. And this time it was permanent. </p><p>"I always liked you," yeonjun confessed. "You believe that nobody ever noticed you, but that’s not true. I noticed you from the very beginning. I wonder, if I didn't die would things have been different? Would you have accepted my confession back then and stayed by my side? Would we both physically be living in this apartment together while we go to school? Would I have gotten to see you wake up every morning right next to me as the sky turns blue?" </p><p>Soobin was crying now, holding the journal close to his chest. He ached with the need to touch yeonjun, to hold him, and be close. </p><p>The sun was rising, and yeonjun was getting more and more transparent as the sky lightened. </p><p>"Would you have loved me as much as I love you?" He whispered his final words, his body slowly disappearing in small glimmers of light. First his legs, then his waist. </p><p>Soobin nodded hastily, his cheeks stained with his tears. <em> "Yes, </em> yes I would have. I do! I love you, and I would have loved you even back then, and I will always love you from now on. So please, don't go," he pleaded, his voice caught on a sob. </p><p>A few tears slipped from yeonjun’s lashes, his lips forming a heart breaking but also happy smile. "I love you," he finally said. "Maybe we can be together in another time, another life. Will you wait for me?" </p><p>Soobin cried harder at his words. "I don't want to wait. Just stay here with me, just like this. Please don't leave me alone. I want to be selfish and have you here by my side. You <em> promised </em> to stay by my side." </p><p>"You were always so beautiful in the light from the blue sky," yeonjun whispered. His eyes continued to reflect the blue sky, dawn casting a soft glow in the room from behind soobin. </p><p>The sky right now was at it's prettiest shade of blue: a gentle blue, soft on the eyes and mixed with shades of yellow and orange. This was his favorite time of day. The quiet time before a new dawn was fully upon them. A time where everything was still, the day breaking. He wanted to just lay there with soobin, and watch the blue sky melt away as the clock ticked. </p><p>And then yeonjun faded completely, the smile never leaving his lips.</p><p>"Goodbye," yeonjun whispered.</p><p>Soobin's eyes widened, and he went really really still. He hiccuped, and sniffled, and didn't dare breathe. A few more tears fell down his cheeks.</p><p>And then the final realization that yeonjun was truly gone hit him like a train. He became a broken and sobbing mess, bending forward and clutching the journal to his chest, crying and crying. He's never felt like this before. It hurt so bad, like his heart got ripped out of his chest. </p><p>And he doesn't think he will ever get it back.</p><p>***</p><p>Taehyun and hueningkai knew something was wrong with soobin. Hell, even seokjin was worried for him. </p><p>They asked him repeatedly if anything was bothering him, but soobin merely evaded the questions and plastered on a fake smile that wasn't fooling anybody. </p><p>It continued like this for weeks. </p><p>For weeks, soobin walked around almost as if he was lifeless. His eyes were dull and red-rimmed. He didn't eat that much, only the bare essentials, and he rarely spoke unless directly spoken to. </p><p>Every morning, soobin got up at 5:53 am, sitting on the balcony of his apartment and crying as he watched the sky begin to lighten into a gentle blue shade. Every night he sat in the living room, staring out the window as the sun set and letting warm tears stain his cheeks. </p><p>
  
</p><p>And when his eyes couldn't cry anymore, the tears all dried up, he decided to let his heart cry instead.</p><p>One day, he finally reached over and opened the journal, admiring the pages that were painted with so much care. </p><p>The backgrounds were gorgeous, a variety of colors and designs, each one different from the last. However, despite all of the colors of a palette being used, soobin could see a theme in the journal.</p><p>Each page had the same gentle blue, hidden and mixed into the other colors in some kind of way: A constant reminder of the love the artist had for the special shade. </p><p>Soobin wordlessly picked up a black inked pen, and he started to write.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em> I find I miss you in even the tiniest of moments, between the seconds. </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin walked through the streets with taehyun and hueningkai, laughing at a joke that was said. They were headed to the bubble tea place that has become their new favorite hangout whenever taehyun and soobin don't have work at the cafe. </p><p>Seokjin claims they are betraying him to the enemy (the bubble tea place on campus was run by his eternal roommate named Min Yoongi), but they just ignore him. </p><p>The sun was just about to disappear along the horizon, and soobin abruptly stopped on the sidewalk to watch it, a smile of longing on his lips.</p><p>Sometimes he gets like this, and taehyun and hueningkai exchange a look between each other.</p><p>They didn't say anything though. They love soobin too much to ask him why he always made sure to never miss a sunrise or sunset. </p><p>
  
</p><p><em> Missing you comes in waves. Today I'm drowning. </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>"Really, you're going to apply to my university?!" Soobin exclaimed, clapping excitedly. Taehyun and hueningkai tried to shoosh him, looking around the library to make sure nobody was disturbed by his outburst. </p><p>"Well of course I'm going. I have always wanted to be a music major, you know that. And taehyun here just wants to follow his crush around like a stalker," kai snickered, grunting when taehyun stomped on his foot under the table. </p><p>"Ohhhh how romantic," soobin teased, smiling wide with his dimples. "When are you going to confess?" </p><p>Taehyun's cheeks flushed slightly, and he brought his hand up to his neck to scratch at it: a nervous tick of his. </p><p>"S-shut up," he stuttered cutely. "And soon," he muttered. </p><p>Both soobin and hueningkai squealed out loud this time, and they did end up getting scolded at by the librarian. </p><p>
  
</p><p><em> Each day within me, I fight a silent battle of surviving yet another day without you. </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>"Hey hyung, are you going to come to the movies with us this weekend?" Hyuka asked soobin. </p><p>Soobin shook his head. "Sorry, but I can't," he said regretfully. "I have to work some extra shifts now that we are on winter break. I need to save up for the next semester since my classes are going to be harder." </p><p>"Aww can't you skip at least one day?" Hyuka pouted cutely, hoping to get his way. </p><p>Soobin was strong though. No amount of hyukas cute whining can make him give up the chance to make money. </p><p>He affectionately ruffled hueningkais hair, noting how the other boy is almost as tall as him now. </p><p>"Shouldn't you be studying to get into universities? You have to take the entrance exams in spring," soobin chastised him. </p><p>"Ahahaha that's so funny hyung, well taehyun is waiting for me so I gotta go, byeee," and then he was out the door. Soobin smiled, walking to the back room to change into his work uniform. He's got the long night shift today.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> I wish I could describe a day without you. The only word that comes to mind is: Emptiness.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin stayed awake staring at his ceiling, watching the shadows slowly disappear as morning arrived. </p><p>Yet another sleepless night.</p><p>He shifted in his bed, turning his head to the still empty spot next to him. A spot that could never be filled by anybody else. </p><p>His phone screen read 5:53 am.</p><p>He sighed, finally getting up and dressed for the day.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em> Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone. </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>"So, any hot guys in your classes for the spring semester?" Hyuka grinned, wagging his eyebrows up and down suggestively. </p><p>Soobin rolled his eyes and shoveled more food into his mouth. He purposely ignored hyuka, knowing it would drive him insane.</p><p>"Aww c'mon man, gimme the deetsss," hyuka whined, trying to steal a dumpling from soobins plate. Soobin stabbed his chopstick down, blocking the sneaky little bastard from getting his food. </p><p>"Yes, there are cute guys every now and then, but none of them I'm interested in," soobin sighed, knowing hyuka wasn't going to let this go unless he answered honestly. </p><p>"Why not? University is all about scoping out the options and nabbing yourself a boyfriend. Taehyun is boring following that Choi Beomgyu around all over the place. He still hasn't confessed!!" </p><p>"Leave taehyun be, I'm sure he will confess when the time is right," soobin lectured. "And I don't know, I just don't like any of them." He then resumed eating his dumplings, muttering under his breath where hyuka could barely hear him, "I never will." </p><p>
  
</p><p><em> Even if I could have anyone in the world, it would still be you. </em> </p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>Soobin sighed, getting back the results of his first exam for the spring semester. He didn't do that great, unsurprising. </p><p>He stared at the paper, finding he just can't bring himself to care all that much. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Sometimes I just wish you were here so I can tell you how much I need you and how hard every day has been without you.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>"Guys, I have s-something to say," taehyun muttered, causing soobin and hueningkai to pause the movie they were watching. </p><p>"What is it taehyunnie?" Soobin asked.</p><p>"I-I confessed to beomgyu hyung today. I was so nervous I could barely get my words out." </p><p>Hueningkai squealed in joy, throwing himself at taehyun and making the other boy fall over while giggling. </p><p>"And?! What did he say?" Soobin asked excitedly. Taehyun has been pining after beomgyu for what seemed to be forever. </p><p>"He told me that he's liked me all this time too," taehyun said, his eyes shining bright. </p><p>"That's amazing!" Hyuka exclaimed. "It's a good thing too, because otherwise me and soobinnie hyung here would have beat him up for rejecting our precious taehyunnie." </p><p>Soobin nodded in agreement. "The boy lives another day," he joked. </p><p>"Please, spare his face," taehyun laughed. "Anything but the face!" </p><p>Soobin returned to his apartment later that day, happy for taehyun beyond words. He doesn't think the ache in his heart will ever go away, but he's glad that taehyun has found someone to spend the rest of his days with, and that's all he can ask for. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> I hurt.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I don't even know where exactly I hurt. It's the kind of heartache that you can feel in your bones, just a dull dry ache of the soul.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>Taehyun and soobin were walking together in the cold spring air one early morning. They both had to take a very early shift at the cafe, starting at 6am for the before-work rush. </p><p>They didn't mind it though since it was a weekend. </p><p>Soobin was walking ahead, eager to get into a warm building and away from the cold, when he looked up to the sky, unable to help himself.</p><p>He paused, staring at it and just forgetting the world for a few moments. </p><p>He had such a heartbreaking expression on his face, to the point that taehyun couldn't ignore it any longer. It's been three months since soobin has been acting differently, and taehyun feels he has given him more than enough time to himself to figure it out.</p><p>It's now time for a friend to step in and help. </p><p>"Why do you keep looking up at the sky?" taehyun asked soobin. </p><p>Soobin didn't respond right away, his eyes burning with that familiar sting he's grown accustomed to. </p><p>It was quiet all around them. The world was still sleeping, and the dawn was just starting to appear, lighting up the sky. </p><p>They paused on the side of the street, and taehyun was determined to get an answer out of soobin once and for all. </p><p>Finally, after several moments, soobin spoke.</p><p>"You know...People keep saying that life goes on," he smiled sadly to the gentle blue sky. "But to me that has always been the saddest part." </p><p>Taehyun doesn't know what he means. He doesn't have all the pieces to the puzzle. But he can tell that whatever has been bothering soobin, it's been eating away at him slowly.</p><p>He chose his next words very carefully. </p><p>"Hyung...It's okay to admit you're not okay," taehyun told him. </p><p>Soobin looked back at taehyun. He blinked a few times, and then he shocked taehyun by reaching out and gripping onto him like a lifeline. His whole body wracked with sobs, and he buried his face into taehyun's chest. </p><p>Taehyun was frozen, shocked, and scared about what is hurting soobin so much. He is acting like he just lost something so important. </p><p>And maybe he did.</p><p>Soobin stood there, at 5:53 in the morning, crying uncontrollably into taehyun's chest as the gentle blue morning sky lightened to a sunny yellow and orange filled sunrise. </p><p>Soobin hates the yellow and orange sunrise the most. </p><p>Because it means that he is starting another day without the one person that matters to him more than anything. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> I guess that's just what I do. I fall in love with the unreachable… </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The moon… </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The sunrise… </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You.. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>"Hey taehyun?" Soobin croaked, his voice gone from crying all day and well into the night.</p><p>Taehyun ran his hands through soobins hair, his arms wrapped around his shoulder securely. They've been this way since soobin broke down in the middle of the street, not able to go to work. </p><p>Seokjin was more than understanding. </p><p>"Yeah?" Taehyun answered him. </p><p>This entire time taehyun just let soobin cry and get it all out. He didn't ask a single question, he didn't try to assure him it was going to be okay.</p><p>Because then he would be lying, and that's not something soobin needs.</p><p>Soobin needs a shoulder to lean on. He doesn't need someone to convince him he's going to be alright when clearly he wasn't. He doesn't need someone to fix him. </p><p>And maybe, he doesn't want to be fixed. </p><p>"I'm going to tell you a crazy and outrageous story...will you listen to it?" Soobin asked, his voice muffled into taehyun's ruined shirt. </p><p>Taehyun smiled, rubbing soobin’s back in comfort. </p><p>"I'd be happy to listen to your story," he said. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> I look for you everywhere. Because with you went so much of me.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em> Three months later: </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:50 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>Soobin sighed, glancing at the clock behind the counter. It was almost 6 o’clock, which marked the end of his shift at the cafe. He only has a few weeks left of the break before he starts his second year of university, which means he needs to make as much money as he can to support himself. The school work is only going to get much worse and he is dreadfully aware of it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:51 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>“Hey soobin hyung? Do you think you can do me a favor?” taehyun asked, glancing at his phone and trying to hide his smile. </p><p>“Hmm?” soobin hummed, dazing out as he watched the clock tick in boredom. </p><p>“I know you are excited for you shift to end, but i was hoping you can stay a few extra minutes for me? There’s someone i want you to meet.”</p><p>“I already met your boyfriend,” soobin said with a sarcastic tone. “Other than him, who else could you possibly know? Me and hyuka are your only two friends,” he snorted, grunting when taehyun hit him in the arm for being an ass. </p><p>“Just do it. Please?” taehyun asked. </p><p>Soobin sighed, groaning as he stretched his back. He’s been on his feet all day. “Fine, but you are buying me a bubble tea for this,” he whined. </p><p>“Fine,” taehyun rolled his eyes, grinning from ear to ear, but then looking down at his phone when it pinged with a text message.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b> <em>5:52 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>“Shit, that idiot came early,” taehyun hissed at his phone. “Just kidding hyung, you need to come outside the cafe with me right now,” taehyun babbled as he grabbed soobin’s wrist and began to drag the much taller boy with all of his strength. </p><p>“Taehyun, what the hell?” soobin said, but let himself get pulled towards the entrance. “What about the cafe?”</p><p>“Seokjin hyung won't mind if we are gone for a few minutes,” taehyun said, ignoring soobin’s worries. </p><p>“Uh ok?” soobin answered, totally confused on what was going on. Did taehyun finally lose his mind? </p><p>They walked outside the cafe and a little bit further down the sidewalk. Soobin glanced up at the sky unconsciously, noting the sun finally beginning to set. Taehyun still had his wrist in an iron grip, almost as if he was worried soobin would run away or something. </p><p>“Ok hyung, they’re here,” he said, excitement in his voice. </p><p>Soobin glanced away from the sun and then flicked his eyes to the three people standing a little bit further down the sidewalk in front of them. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b><em>5:53 pm:</em> </b>
</p><p>At first he recognized hueningkai right away, and then his eyes trailed over the faces to beomgyu’s. He’s met taehyun’s boyfriend a few times in the months they have been dating. </p><p>Then they landed on a face he has committed to memory, a face that he thought he would never see again. </p><p>He sucked in a breath, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. </p><p>This couldn't be real, right?</p><p>His heart was going to stop at any second, his whole body numb. </p><p>Taehyun spoke up, even though he sounded far away to soobin. </p><p>“Soobin hyung, i would like you to meet beomgyu’s best friend, Choi Yeonjun. They always practiced at the dance studio together, right across the street from seokjin hyung’s cafe.” </p><p>Soobin stood there and said nothing, his eyes wide and glassy, and brimming with tears that were just waiting to spill over. </p><p>It <em> looked </em> like yeonjun. Everything was the same, even the color of his hair, still that crazy pink with blue and yellow streaks through it. His height was the same, and face was the same. He wore a leather jacket with a black shirt tucked into dark blue jeans and suede tan boots. </p><p>But was it really the same yeonjun he knew and lost almost six months ago? </p><p>Soobin didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of this stranger. What if it wasn't the same person he loved? He doesn't want to look like a crazy lunatic right here in the middle of the street. </p><p>So he used all the strength he could to stop himself from approaching this yeonjun that was standing in front of him. He didn't want to feel heartbreak all over again. He doesnt think he will be able to pick back up the pieces of himself that shattered the day yeonjun disappeared. </p><p>Instead, he studied the other boy carefully and cautiously, searching desperately for any sign that it was the same person, that he wasn’t crazy for all those months, that yeonjun was never a figment of his imagination. </p><p>The stranger in front of him, the Choi Yeonjun that was beomgyu’s best friend, did the same thing. His eyes softened and they roamed all over soobin’s face. A smile soobin thought he would never get to see again took shape on yeonjun’s lips. </p><p>It was a smile of longing. </p><p>For some reason that was more than enough to convince soobin. </p><p>His feet reacted faster than his brain could, and within seconds he was sprinting past taehyun. </p><p>Yeonjun’s smile grew wider and he held open his arms for soobin, waiting. </p><p>Soobin’s tears escaped his lashes, and he crashed right into yeonjun, wrapping his arms around him tightly as he let out a heart wrenching sob. </p><p>They didn't speak, didn’t exchange greetings or ‘i missed yous’. They were beyond that. </p><p>Soobin cupped yeonjun’s cheek while yeonjun gripped his waist, and he kissed yeonjun right on the lips. Yeonjun kissed back without hesitation, their lips melting together over and over. </p><p>Beomgyu and hueningkai were surprised, unaware that the two knew each other, but taehyun stood there smiling, his heart happy now that soobin was finally happy. </p><p>They pulled away from each other, needing air, but then soobin dove right back in, making yeonjun giggle into the kiss and meeting him just as eagerly for more. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Above them, the sun almost disappeared, making the sky change color into a gentle blue.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Drive" by Nu'est<br/>I literally played this song on repeat while writing this entire fic. </p><p>please stay tuned for the epilogue, which will have all of the answers to the unsolved questions.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>One year ago:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I just got out of dance practice a few minutes ago, I'll see you a little later tonight mkay?" Yeonjun said into his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard a sigh on the other end, making him chuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>"Hyung, please tell me you aren't hanging out at the cafe again across the street. People are going to think you are weird,"</em> his best friend lectured him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gyu, don't be mean! I'm people watching as the sun sets! It's aesthetic."  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You are such a liar. You aren't people watching, you are person-watching, as in </span>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span><em> person. When are you going to tell me who this massive crush of yours is?! I'm dying of curiosity!!"</em> Beomgyu yelled at him, causing yeonjun to pull the phone away from his face slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Never, you are just going to tease me some more," yeonjun pouted. "He seems like the shy quiet type and you will just scare him away before I have a chance to talk to him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu scoffed into the phone, but he didn't deny it. He would totally approach yeonjun's crush and try and hook them up if he could. Yeonjun has kept his crush a huge secret for months and beomgyu was getting fed up with the suspense. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hyung I promise, I'll just say hi and then walk out-" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," yeonjun laughed sternly. "Before you start meddling in my love life, why don't you get yours all figured out?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu spluttered, making psshhh noises in the phone. <em>"I don't know what you're talking about,"</em> he sniffed pettily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Puh-lease, you have been my best friend for years. Don't think I don't notice you flaunt yourself around like a peacock spreading it's feathers in front of that stand-offish blonde kid who is super smart in your high school," yeonjun snickered evilly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm a damn good-looking peacock, you piece of shit. The best in the entire school. He has no choice but to notice that I'm clearly better than everyone else. I tried everything, hyung. I flirted, I laughed super loud whenever he walked by, and I basically showed up everywhere he went. He no doubt fell head-over-heels for me. Now that I graduated, it's only a matter of time before the chips fall where they may." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gyu, that's the dumbest way I have ever heard of scoring a date. Or I don't know...you could actually try talking to him?" Yeonjun suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>"I'll talk to my crush when you finally grow a pair and talk to yours,"</em> beomgyu hissed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ok fair enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hahahaha ha ha, oh nooo, shhhhh I think we are breaking up beomgyu, I'm losing pshhhhh you pshhhhh hello? Shhhhh!" Yeonjun said into the receiver.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hyung, don't bullshit me, I know you are faking it-" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Click. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, some peace and quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun leaned back into the white metal chair, breathing in deeply and then letting out the air. His entire body ached from dance lessons earlier and he was taking a rest at the white metal table outside the café across the street from his dance studio he and beomgyu both attend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He played with his phone, sneaking glances every now and then into the huge glass window at the cute barista that always worked at this café. Yeonjun has been hardcore crushing on this boy for months now, and soon he planned on confessing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was going to be perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, almost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's spent the last few weeks decorating the pages of a journal with paint, each one different and unique. He just finished it earlier that day, and was going to use it as part of his confession plan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first he was a bit self-conscious, worried that his handcrafted gift and confession would be too cheesy or lame. But beomgyu assured him that since it was a gift from the heart, to just go for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also teased that if yeonjun got rejected, he could always write about his sad love story in the journal he made. That little shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun chuckled when he noticed remnants of blue and lavender paint on his nails and hands. It's going to take a few washings to get it completely clean. Beomgyu is always scolding him to wear gloves or buy better soap that takes it right off. Ever since they were younger, yeonjun always had a habit of getting his hands messy with his art, which resulted in beomgyu chewing him out. One time, yeonjun forgot to wash the clay from his hands and hugged beomgyu, leaving behind white prints of clay all over the other boy's black shirt. Beomgyu threw a fit at him which was hilarious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun sighed, deciding that he was going to confess to the cute (and tall!) boy later in the week. He needs to stop overthinking it. Be confident and social! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It amazes him how normally he has no problems talking to people and making friends, but with this boy he gets all nervous and flushed and feels like the biggest dork on the planet. He's never felt like this with anyone before. The talk dark haired boy who was shy and awkward made a special place for himself in yeonjun's heart without even trying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>5:50pm:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun put his phone down and continued to watch the sky go from a bright sunset to his favorite color; the color of a soft gentle blue right before the sun disappears under the horizon. It's mixed with just a touch of lavender, orange and yellow. Every morning and every evening when this happens, it's his favorite time of day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>5:51 pm: </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy with dark hair and a tall frame exited the front door of the café, carrying three boxes stacked high in his hands. He absentmindedly nodded to yeonjun and the other customers as he passed by, unable to look at them properly or see in front of him. He carefully stepped across the sidewalk and sidestepped the many people walking on foot so that he wouldn't trip or bump into anyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>5:52 pm:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun's crush looked both ways before stepping down off the sidewalk and crossing the narrow street. He hoisted the boxes up to try and get a better grip on them so they wouldn't slip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun watched him with amusement on his face, but then his attention was taken away from the boy as he heard people begin to shout, letting everyone know to get out of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun glanced at the source of the commotion, and his eyes widened at what he saw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A parked cargo truck at the top of the slope of the street, who's break must have failed, started moving down the hill backwards at an increasing speed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The people on the sidewalk and in the road began to run and get out of the way. Some stepped onto the sidewalk, some dove behind a telephone post or mail box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone but him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun swiveled his head back to the barista, fear pumping through his brain and his heart caught in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy was in the middle of all of it, directly in the way of the speeding truck and the loose metal crates slipping out the back doors and crashing all around them. </span>
  <span>He was frozen in his spot, his eyes wide with horror as he realized what was happening to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't going to make it in time, and he knew it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One thought rung out in yeonjun's mind in an endless loop.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, not him. Please not him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>5:53 pm:</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was on his feet in an instant, his brain slow to process what his body had already decided. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't think about what the risks were, or the danger he was willingly putting himself into. It was a crazy idea, really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a split second decision that was completely selfless: a momentary instinct and a choice that yeonjun made all on his own; a beautiful act of love that could change a person's life in the blink of an eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran through the mayhem of people trying to get away, towards the center of it all. But he didn't run directly behind the cargo truck, he wasn't completely stupid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shoved and shoved past everyone, and then..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached out a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he pushed with all his strength. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then a loose crate slipped from the back of the nearing truck, tumbling towards him. He dodged as best he could, diving to the ground but unable to catch his fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the next thing he knew he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head as he hit the concrete hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a sticky wetness coat his hair, and his vision of the world turned sideways and blurred. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw the dark haired boy several feet away from him, looking dazed and shocked but he was alive. Yeonjun was relieved, his eyes locked on the boy as he snapped out of his daze and got up, heading back to the cafe to call for help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun never once took his eyes off of the boy, until finally his world went black. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soobin gasped awake, immediately sitting up and patting his hand out next to him on the mattress, searching frantically and desperately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found what he was looking for, his fingertips brushing gently against a warm body occupying the spot right beside him on the small bed, and he let out a sigh of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was still there. He was still next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This has become a nightly occurrence for soobin. Each time he closes his eyes, he's afraid of what he will see when he opens them again. He's afraid he will be all alone once more, with only his memories to keep him company. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But yeonjun was living and breathing right there, curled on his side and facing soobin, the same position they fell asleep in only hours before. The same position they fall asleep in each night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin's eyes softened and watered a bit at the sight of the sleeping boy next to him. He's been an emotional wreck this entire week, ever since yeonjun appeared before him outside the cafe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent that entire first night tangled together, soobin refusing to let go of yeonjun, not that yeonjun minded. He was just as happy to see the younger boy after all those months being apart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin finally got some answers to his many questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was a second year university student that lived in the apartment soobin was in right now. He was a dance major, and practiced at the studio across the street from the cafe where soobin worked. That's how he met beomgyu a few years back, and they became best friends. Yeonjun would always catch glimpses of soobin through the window of the cafe, and he gradually fell in love with the boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun was too shy and flustered to approach soobin, and always avoided him. After months of pining, he was finally going to muster up enough courage to introduce himself and eventually confess, until his accident stopped all of his plans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin never really got the details of yeonjun's accident, but he has a sneaking suspicion yeonjun was holding something back from him. All he knows is that yeonjun almost got hit by a truck and smacked his head hard on the concrete. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was hospitalized for weeks after that, slowly getting worse and worse. The doctors said it was an internal bleed in the brain, and extremely dangerous. The chances of him living wasn't zero, but it wasn't great either. Eventually, yeonjun went into a coma, where he stayed hospitalized for a few months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu was devastated, constantly visiting yeonjun throughout the first semester of university. Sometimes yeonjun looked like he would wake up, his vital signs getting better, but none of them could be sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no other visitors throughout his stay in the hospital. Only beomgyu was by his side almost every day. Yeonjun didn't elaborate, but he honestly didn't have to. Soobin got the hint that yeonjun's family wasn't very supportive or present in his life, which pissed beomgyu off to no end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Throughout the days, however, yeonjun seemed to be improving, hanging on to the final strings of life for some odd reason. Beomgyu admitted that he cried at yeonjun's bedside, witnessing first hand how the color came back to yeonjun's face, and his eyes seemed to move rapidly under his eyelids, almost as if he was dreaming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then one day, yeonjun finally woke up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For two more months yeonjun had to remain in bed, healing from his head injury. Thankfully he didn't have much amnesia, and the few insignificant memories he did forget eventually came back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was around that time that beomgyu started dating taehyun. After four months since yeonjun woke up, taehyun found out through beomgyu about what happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun immediately visited yeonjun in the hospital, during a time when beomgyu had class. He needed to do this alone, just in case his hunch was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened yeonjun's hospital room door, and he marched in front of yeonjun's bed with a look of determination on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And taehyun being taehyun, he just boldly blurted out the craziest question ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you believe ghosts exist?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun blinked at him in shock, unsure of what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately he didn't have to reply, because taehyun continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because Choi Soobin does, and he's madly in love with one."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun stared at taehyun, the room silent for several seconds. Taehyun wildly searched yeonjun's eyes and face, looking for a sign of recognition. </span>
  <span>He hoped he was right. God, how he hoped so hard. Soobin has been broken for too long, and there was only one person that could put him back together again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And like a prayer that has been answered, a miracle that taehyun would never have believed was possible before meeting soobin, he found what he was looking for on yeonjun's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun's eyes watered, his lips quivering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," he breathed out on a shaky breath, crying openly for the first time since he woke up. "Because I'm madly in love with Choi Soobin too." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those were yeonjun's first words to Kang Taehyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the next few months, yeonjun begged taehyun not to tell soobin where he was. He didn't want soobin to see him like this. Being in a coma did a number on his body and health.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to meet soobin when he was healthy again, when his body was working like it used to. He would need physical therapy, and proper meals, and lots of nutrients. He would need to build up his muscles and work out all of the creaks. This doesn't happen over night. This is something that takes days, weeks, months, of dedication and hard work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But yeonjun was never a quitter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still wasn't 100% when he met soobin again after six months of being apart, but he was close to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin didn't care either way. He never would have cared, and he ranted at yeonjun while he cried after hearing yeonjun's story, calling him selfish and a jerk for staying away from him for so long. Which only made yeonjun chuckle while taking the verbal abuse and falling in love with soobin a little bit more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin was the one who asked the question they all have been wondering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was it that helped yeonjun come back to the world of the living? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They might never get a real answer to this question. However, Taehyun had a theory on the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun believes it was soobin that was the cause of yeonjun's eventual recovery. Yeonjun the ghost had unfinished business and couldn't move on. He never got to confess to soobin, making him stay as a spirit while his body was in a coma. He couldn't leave the apartment because that was where his gift for soobin was located. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once yeonjun was able to fulfill his last wish, he disappeared. But instead of dying and going to the afterlife, his strong will to stay alive allowed him to wake back up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun guesses it made sense, especially since he was a really lame ghost. He couldn't walk through walls, and he slept like a normal person. They all think that the longer he was asleep as a ghost meant that his physical body was waking up in the real world. Taehyun also hypothesized that yeonjun could touch and pick up solid objects only at the times that meant the most to him: around 6 in the morning and 6 in the evening. Or maybe it was because it was near his time of 'death'. Either way, they will never get a solid answer for that, not that yeonjun minded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In conclusion, it was an absurd and ridiculous explanation, but a beautiful one that yeonjun would like to believe is true. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soobin brushed some of yeonjun's pink bangs out of his eyes, admiring his delicate and pretty face as he slept. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He skimmed yeonjun's arm gently, needing to reconfirm through touch that yeonjun was here with him and not going anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly and carefully slipped his fingers in between the spaces of yeonjun's, connecting them so that their hands were linked, palm to palm. Yeonjun's hand was warm and comforting, and soobin finally let loose the small tears that gathered at his lashes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hastily wiped them away, not realizing that yeonjun woke up. He was a light sleeper, and sensed the movement of soobin in bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking his eyes awake, yeonjun glanced at soobin sitting next to him, and he began to stretch himself out of the slight curled position he was in. Only, he noticed right away that his one hand was occupied, preventing him from moving completely. He smiled at that, squeezing the other hand tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everything all right, soobinnie?" He said quietly, his voice deep from sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," soobin sniffled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This alarmed yeonjun, and he yanked on their joined hands until soobin was resting on top of his chest, shifting so that the older boy was comfortable as their bodies aligned together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun sighed in content, not minding the weight of soobin on top of him, something he's desperately wanted since meeting him. He needs to make sure that every inch of each other was touching as much as possible, no space spared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was dark in the room, but the sky was beginning to change into a lighter color. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the matter?" Yeonjun asked, using his free hand to brush through soobin's freshly dyed hair. It was a spur of the moment decision, but soobin had his mind set to suddenly color his dark hair into a gentle shade of blue earlier in the week. Yeonjun smiled and didn't question it, instead helping him dye it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dreamed you weren't next to me," soobin said, his voice muffled in yeonjun's shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't real," yeonjun reassured him. "I'm not going anywhere." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, but still," soobin whispered, tilting his head to the side so that his ear was pressed against yeonjun's chest and he could hear the steady rhythm of his heart beat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," yeonjun whispered back. Soobin didn't have to explain. Yeonjun has felt the same way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed that way for several minutes, just living in the peaceful and calm moment before the world wakes up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally soobin shifted, propping himself up on his elbows so that he could see yeonjun's face better. </span>
</p><p>Without a word, he<span> bent his head a bit lower and brushed his lips against yeonjun's softly, in no rush, just tasting him and memorizing the feel of yeonjun against him all over again. He's done this several times now, and he will continue to do it forever. Yeonjun released a small breath, kissing soobin back and tilting his chin up to deepen the kiss faster. Soobin was learning that yeonjun was impatient, making him smile against yeonjun's lips as he shifted again so he could kiss yeonjun more thoroughly. </span></p><p>
  <span>The kiss was sweet and gentle, but quickly turned into heated and passionate within seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their two hands were still connected, so soobin used his free hand to slip underneath yeonjun's shirt, spreading it against his stomach so that he could feel his warmth. Yeonjun flushed, wanting soobin to touch him more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Close wasn't close enough for either of them. Yeonjun parted soobin's lips with his own, slipping his tongue in when soobin easily opened up for him. He let yeonjun do whatever he wanted, loving the way the older boy explored his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually they parted, gasping in lungfuls of air. Soobin traced his lips down yeonjun's neck and across his collarbone, sucking on his soft skin and leaving wet kisses all over. His hand pushed yeonjun's shirt up farther, needing to touch him everywhere. Yeonjun shivered at that as he caught his breath, his eyes half lidded with lust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then his hand made it's way across yeonjun's half covered chest and searched near his side. He found what he was looking for, and immediately intertwined their other hands as well, pinning yeonjun into the mattress. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Will you continue to stay with me, by my side?" Soobin asked him, kissing him relentlessly between the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeonjun smiled against soobin's lips, letting soobin drag his teeth lightly across his bottom lip and causing his mind to go wild. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Always," he promised him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without them realizing it, the clock turned 5:53 am. The sky was now a gentle blue, mixed with lavender and orange near the horizon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a moment of stillness, where time seemed to hold it's breath. The silence resembled a soft smile, covering them like a blanket so that it was just the two of them in their own world for a few minutes longer, letting them stay like this before time finally lets go of it's breath and their daily lives begin to catch up to them once again. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone who has read this! It was a self-indulgent story that I thought of when I heard Nu'est's song, and I just started typing.<br/>There is not much to say about this, I didn't plan or plot a single thing, and no thoughts were made while writing lol</p><p>This is a modern-day genre with a strong twist of supernatural mixed in, so it was meant to be unrealistic but also believable. I've never done this style before, so let me know what you think! &lt;3</p><p>You can follow me on Twitter and shout out to me about anything kpop! <br/>@stayinmylane10</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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